Leftist Loons Poke the Russian Bear [semi-satire]

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Posted on 11/23/2024 9:20:52 AM PST by John Semmens

British Prime Minister Keir Starmer characterized Russian objections to having British Storm Shadow missiles fired deep into their country as "irresponsible rhetoric that will not deter us from supporting Ukraine. Putin's talk of a lowered threshold for a nuclear strike is a bluff that I'm calling right here and now."

Not to be outdone by Starmer, the addled occupant of the White House authorized Ukraine to fire powerful long-range Army Tactical Missile Systems (ATACMS) into Russia. "We need to Trump-proof the investment we've already made in this war so it can't be squandered by the incoming administration," Biden said. "This escalation will thwart Trump's boast that he could quickly negotiate peace between the combatants."

Last September, Vyacheslav Volodin, the chairman of the Russian Duma, warned that "strikes against Russia with the ATACMS would be a considerable escalation. Russia would have to use more powerful and destructive weapons in retaliation." This week Russia hit targets in Ukraine with several medium-range ballistic missiles. Although these strikes did not carry nuclear warheads, the missiles used are fully capable of carrying them.

Rob Magowan, the deputy chief of the British defense staff, told the House of Commons defense committee "we're ready to fight Putin. Letting him know the British Army is ready, willing, and able to meet and defeat his army on the battlefield is the best deterrent we have for making him give up this war."

On Wednesday, Russian presidential spokesman Dmitry Peskov told reporters that "President Putin is ready for talks to end the Ukraine war with American President-Elect Donald Trump. He is the American voters' choice for who they want to lead the country. Trump campaigned on a platform that included negotiating an end to this war. Why not let him get started before the warmongers make things worse?"

In related news, the US Department of Defense (DOD) failed its seventh consecutive audit. Secretary Lloyd Austen III insisted that "failing an audit doesn't mean we haven't been doing our job. After all, I am the first African American to lead the DOD. Our Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) program has made great strides. All of our officers have been drilled on its goals and our fighting forces are as diverse as they have ever been in our nation's history. In light of this, the billions of dollars of missing money and weapons seems unimportant."

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1 posted on 11/23/2024 9:20:52 AM PST by John Semmens

To: John Semmens

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