Once again, Prince Harry played the victim card this week. He was appearing as a guest speaker for the cringingly Left-wing New York Times, at an event heralded as his exposition on 'Mental health, Disinformation and the Pursuit for Justice'.
Harry revealed that since his mother Princess Diana died in 1997, he has been trapped in a world of malicious lies told by the horrid British Press and, more recently, lurid claims on social media. Now he wants to seek 'truth, accountability and ultimately reconciliation' from his various enemies.
Crikey, just when did this soft lad – the son Diana worried about most – born into unimaginable wealth, start thinking he was the reincarnation of Nelson Mandela?
The great South African established the 'Truth and Reconciliation Commission' at the end of apartheid to record the crimes committed under that racist system. It's a bit rich of Harry to talk about 'reconciliation' when he's spent years doing things he should have known were capable of destroying his relationship with his own family.
During the half-hour interview, Harry yet again announced that it took him years of therapy to 'clean the windshield' of his life.
Clearly, given this latest self-pitying performance, that's still a work in progress.
Get a grip, Harry. You're a preposterously privileged posh-boy – and now just another royal hanger-on. I suspect Hell will freeze over before your brother, William, our beloved Kate and maybe even your father and Queen Camilla will ever forgive your betrayals.
Prince Harry talks about his life at an event in New York this week
By contrast, Nelson Mandela established the 'Truth and Reconciliation Commission' at the end of apartheid to record the crimes committed under that racist system
Finally, while Harry was dismissing rumours that his marriage to Megs was in trouble, he was a solo Englishman in New York, while she was at a red carpet event almost 3,000 miles away in Beverly Hills.
Just saying.
Westminster wars
- Keir Starmer's 'plan for change' ditched many of his pre-election promises and offered us new homes, more cops, a better NHS and happier kids – adding up to a whole load of hot air. His reboot was reminiscent of Lenin's One Step Forward, Two Steps Back mantra – which ended up failing, as socialists' plans always do.
- As for promising 1.5million new homes in this parliament, the only reason we need these houses is Labour has truly lost control of our borders. Under Starmer, small-boat arrivals have reached 20,000 – and it was, of course, Tony Blair who first flung open our borders to uncontrolled migration in 2004.
- The man who has single-handedly destroyed London, Mayor Sadiq Khan, is up for a knighthood, though I doubt speculation that Rishi Sunak will include Michael Gove in his honours list – the man who stabbed Boris in the back in his failed bid for leadership of the Tories.
Maya shows Klass
Love Island presenter Maya Jama, above, was the epitome of elegance hosting the Fashion Awards at the Royal Albert Hall with a green floor-length gown flowing over her sublime curves.
Meanwhile, Myleene Klass chose an outfit flashing her legs, breasts with a hint of knicker. Clearly, Myleene has never heard Trinny and Susannah's dictum on What Not To Wear: you can do boobs or legs but not at the same time – unless you don't want to look classy.
Shamed Gregg Wallace is 'furious' his MasterChef co-host of 20 years John Torode failed to support him over allegations of inappropriate sexual behaviour. Instead, insiders reveal Torode was so unhappy with Wallace's behaviour he 'repeatedly flagged' it to MasterChef bosses – but no action was taken. Someone's got to ask the question: Why did Torode keep putting up with it? Didn't he have a responsibility to refuse to work with a man accused of such things? No wonder MasterChef is now said to be looking for not just one but two new presenters.
Tulisa's lashes survived splashes!
Mystery remains over why Tulisa, above – who left the Celebrity jungle but was expected to stay in Oz until the end of the show – disappeared back to the UK.
I'm more mystified at how she maintained perfect make-up Down Under: arched eyebrows, lip liner and gloss, and those huge tarantula false eyelashes.
As a former lash aficionado, I know they hardly last a week if they get wet, let alone ten days in this year's waterlogged jungle.
And she's supposed to be terrified of spiders!
Meanwhile, Coleen Rooney is pulling out all the stops to be crowned Queen of the Jungle, saving her showering moment until this week, wearing a modest tankini top and skimpy £160 Vix bikini bottoms.
Well, her trim body is certainly preferable to that of the corpulent Rev Richard Coles (or indeed Nigel Farage's naked bottom in the last series). And it's good news for mums everywhere that firm chunky thighs can still be utterly gorgeous.
YMCA's sour note
The man who wrote the lyrics for YMCA, Victor Willis, insists the No 1 hit was never a gay anthem, that the song is 'entirely heterosexual' and he'll sue anyone who says otherwise.
Good luck with that Vic: as I met the Village People – who made his song famous – in Sydney at the peak of their fame and half were gay as geese.
Lie back and enjoy the royalties. As Don McLean said when asked the meaning of his impenetrable hit American Pie, the song means I'll never have to work again.
The odds just shortened on who replaces disgraced Huw Edwards as the face of the BBC after it emerged former frontrunner Clive Myrie pocketed at least £145,000 on top of his £310,000 BBC salary for public speaking he 'forgot' to declare to the Beeb. It now has to be a shoo-in for my favourite – Sophie Raworth.
TEDDY TRIBUTE TO MY DEAR PAL
Staggering that Aloysius, the original teddy bear from ITV's adaptation of Brideshead Revisited, has been auctioned for £26,000 when my dear departed friend Gary's collection of 200 bears sold for a mere £20, maybe because so many were missing ears or eyes and the moths had got to them.
Luckily I kept the only intact one, named it Gary, and he'll sit at his former owner's place at my table this year – the first Christmas without my beloved neighbour.
Oppenheimer star Emma Dumont has come out as 'trans masculine non-binary' insisting on they/them pronouns. Brave of them to embrace their identity but when they audition for future roles as a woman, it might make things tricky!