Anxious for Christmas? I cured my client's bizarre fear of tinsel... and I can help you too. Here's my 7-step guide to defeating holiday anxiety

Twinkling lights, cozy gatherings, the magic of giving.

Christmas is sold as the most wonderful time of the year, but for many, it's far from it. As a fear, phobia and anxiety specialist, this is one of my busiest seasons.

A few years ago, just before Christmas, a former client, named Hannah, came to me with a fear that might sound strange: tinsel. Yes, tinsel—the sparkling, harmless decoration that seems to be everywhere during the festive season. 

For Hannah, it was anything but innocuous. Just the thought of thin strips of shiny foil made her feel physically sick. Hannah avoided work parties, family dinners and even going out during December. Over the years, her fear grew so intense that she spent five Christmases alone.

We worked together to trace her fear back to a seemingly innocent childhood prank.

As a child, she was playfully wrapped in tinsel by her cousins. But, for little Hannah, the scratchy texture and the feeling of being trapped triggered panic. Her young mind linked those emotions to tinsel and the association stayed with her into adulthood.

This process of associating emotions with unrelated things is known as conditioning and it is how most phobias develop.

In Hannah's case, tinsel became linked to choking and pain. Her brain identifies the shiny trimming as a genuine threat, much like one learns to avoid fire after being burned.

Now, while Hannah's story might be an extreme case, fear of Christmas (Christougenniatikophobia) is something most of us can relate to. And it's not just the obvious stressors—like family tensions and social pressures—that cause fear and anxiety.

Sometimes it's the little, unseen factors that can trigger negative emotions; crowded stores; rejected party invitations; thoughts of forgotten friends or traditions.

The truth is that Christmas is an emotional rollercoaster for many people. And while you can't always control the chaos around you, you can control how you respond.

Here are 7 steps to follow this Christmas to help you feel calm and joyful.

Step 1: Ask: What am I really afraid of?

Often, fear is caused by deeply held beliefs. So, what's driving your fear? Family judgment? Worries about money?

As an exercise, ask yourself: 'What thoughts make me feel stressed or even fearful?'

You might realize that you think: 'If Christmas Day isn't perfect, I'm a failure.'

Well, here's the key: beliefs are not facts. Once you recognize your belief, you can challenge it and adopt more positive thoughts.

For instance, tell yourself: 'Christmas doesn't have to be perfect to be meaningful.'

Step 2: Relax the Conscious Mind

Stress triggers your body's fight-or-flight response, making it more difficult to think clearly. The fastest way to interrupt this cycle is to relax your mind and body.

While there are many ways to do this, one of the quickest and best-known approaches is to manage your breathing.

Try this: When you feel anxiety, breathe in for four counts, hold for four and breathe out for eight. Repeat until you feel calmer.

This practice helps shift your body from panicked to relaxed, giving you the mental space to approach things differently.

Step 3: Stop Rewarding Fear

Believe it or not, stress can sometimes serve a hidden purpose.

Avoiding a family gathering may protect you from awkward or painful conversations. Obsessing over the 'perfect' Christmas may give you a sense of control when everything else feels chaotic.

But succumbing to these negative feelings is a trap, as the behavior has big downsides.

Ask yourself: What am I losing when I reward this fear? Precious time with loved ones? The opportunity to relax?

Recognizing this cost-benefit dynamic can strengthen your determination to persevere.

Step 4: Change the Recipe

What are the ingredients, the 'mental recipe' of your fears? What are you picturing?

Take the image that makes you anxious in your mind's eye and shrink it down to the size of a tiny dot. Now make it black and white, as though you've turned the color off.

Imagine floating above the image or throwing it into the sun. Notice how the fear feels smaller, more distant and less important.

When you change the images in your mind, you change how they make you feel.

Step 5: 'Rewatch' the Past

Close your eyes and bring to mind a memory that's weighing on you. Perhaps it's a difficult conversation or a Christmas gone wrong. As you 'relive' it, focus on staying relaxed and calm.

Do something physically comforting as you think about this moment—like giving yourself a gentle hug or rubbing your arms up and down. This simple action releases oxytocin, a calming hormone, helping you feel safe and grounded.

Imagine looking at the memory as if it were a scene in a movie. You're not 'in it' anymore—you're watching it. Visualize yourself responding with understanding and strength. Notice how, from this detached place, the emotional charge begins to fade.

Step 6: Recondition Your Emotions

If a specific trigger at Christmas sends you into fear or stress, there's a way to replace that response with a positive one.

Decide how you want to feel instead—calm, confident, joyful—and focus on that as your goal.

Recall a strong memory of a time when you truly felt joyful. Close your eyes and make it vivid. At the peak of the emotion, press your thumb and forefinger together. Hold it for a few seconds, then release. Repeat this 3-5 times to strengthen the connection.

Now, think about that negative person or event again while repeating the same gesture—pressing your thumb and forefinger together. If done correctly, you should notice the negative emotions begin to fade.

Step 7: Realize a Powerful Future

Finally, focus on what you want this Christmas to look like. And set small, realistic goals to make it happen. You don't have to fix everything—just focus on what matters most.

Remember, Christmas doesn't have to be perfect to be meaningful. Small shifts in your focus, thoughts, and actions can transform the way you experience the season. By learning to harness your fears now, you can unleash your potential in the new year.