By The Babylon Bee | Created at 2024-10-29 18:21:04 | Updated at 2024-10-30 19:17:25
1 day ago
NEW YORK CITY, NY — Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez accused her boyfriend of doing yet another ‘Mini January 6th' again this week after the congresswoman found his socks on the floor.
"Riley is a good guy and all but I can't believe he continues to commit these little insurrections right on the bathroom floor," Ocasio-Cortez commented. "Every time I see those socks I tell him ‘Sweetie, I love you, but remember how I literally died on January sixth?' Those socks are so triggering."
Ocasio-Cortez's boyfriend Riley Roberts profusely apologized for leaving the offending socks on the ground and promised his girlfriend he would try his very best to remember to pick them up in the future. He then wrote a 500-page apology statement which he published online.
"Alex is a great woman and I understand how difficult this is for her. She's endured so much and I have no excuse for these little January sixths I keep pulling in our apartment," Roberts said. "She died four times last week when I left a few dirty pots in the sink so I know she's feeling a little raw right now. It's my job to protect her from these household insurrections."
At publishing time, Ocasio-Cortez had been literally murdered by her boyfriend forgetting to change the empty toilet paper roll in the bathroom.
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