Arthur Brooks: Beware the Facebook Parents’ Group

One Sunday night in 2022, our middle son, then still on active duty in the U.S. Marine Corps, called on a borrowed phone from Las Vegas, in need of assistance. His predicament included losses at the blackjack table, a difference of opinion with casino security about whether he should remain in the establishment, and—somehow—the theft of his pants (along with his valuables). The upshot was that he’d found himself separated from his comrades out on the Strip, without identification or phone, and with only a few hours until he needed to be back on base. In California.

What’s a parent to do? Go on Facebook, of course.

Using the app, we were able to track down the profile of one of his Marine friends partying in Vegas, and in fewer than five minutes, we were direct-messaging him our son’s whereabouts. Once reunited, the band of brothers hunted down the pants-stealing miscreant and administered justice. And before long, our son was safely back on base.

I recounted that story recently after a speech I gave about the problems that overuse of social media can cause for families. An audience member had asked me whether I saw any ways that parents could use these applications to make their children’s lives better—and whether I had done so myself. Well, it turns out that audience member was not looking for my Kafkaesque short story about stolen pants. She was sending her first child off to college and simply wondering how I felt about online parents’ groups, which are generally hosted on Facebook. She wanted to know: Should she join one?