Show and tell on Broadway
Broadway. The street brings in more money than hookers.
Began on Nassau Street 1732. A bit before Andrew Lloyd Webber’s 80th revival of “Sunset Blvd.,” females — unlike President Trump’s new edict — were acted by gents, and theater devotee G. Washington who had nothing else to do helped this new profession. I mean, before Ozempic how long could he stare at Martha.
Jimmy Fallon — of whom you may have heard — is now debuting. His show’s “All In: Comedy About Love.” Means he’ll hustle from NBC to West 44th’s Hudson for whatever this Simon Rich comedy thing is.
I was inside the Hudson — the original site of the original “Tonight Show” — during that rejuicing. It starred Steve Allen there, but not Jack Paar. Listen, who else would tell you these things. 2017 it got proclaimed as B’way’s newest oldest theater, which was the size of that Amazon guy’s girlfriend’s bra.
There exist rules as to which crumbling palaces can have official B’way status and which cannot. What’s cluttering Broadway now you can read about. Me, I’m educating you.
The Hudson opened 1903. First in Times Square alongside the New Amsterdam. Manhattan then was half a million population. First show, Ethel Barrymore with “Cousin Kate.” Ethel we heard of. “Cousin Kate” — who cares.
Ticket price then? Cost of a day-old BLT. Now? Could be $500. And for a drink at intermission you have to mortgage your wife. Or someone else’s.
Instead of hundreds for a ticket, plus transportation, dinner, tip to the garage guy, cash to clean your crappy jeans, you can get seats when that big floppola subsequently cranks toward you in a Springfield road company.
1874, banks failed. 1870 Edwin Booth of the Booth Theatre so pay attention. Gilbert and Sullivan 1882. David Belasco Theatre played “Othello” the year of the Chicago fire. Maurice Barrymore. His relative Drew still schleps around on daytime TV.
Next came the grabby Shuberts — and out fell everybody else. Gay, ol’ 1890s. Musicals. Lillian Russell — crabgrass incarnate — was everywhere. 1894, all 39 legit theaters were filled. It was thin kin and fat behinds and Broadway as ready as Pete Hegseth’s dress drawers.
Taking center stage
Broadway. Life upon the wicked stage. “Broadway Baby.” “Give My Regards to Broadway.” “Lullaby of Broadway,” “New York, New York.”
Ever hear anyone schlepping around Times Square singing about Cleveland? Everyone comes from all over to see our legit productions.
Places, please!
Pandemic time Broadway fell a little ill. It’s healthy now. It’s back. Yeah it’s a lot revivals. “Chicago” has been on since before the city was founded.
Why revivals? Cheap. You know what it’ll do. You know the audience. True, the seats are so close that your hand can be in the next guy’s pocket. But so what? It’s the same outside the theater.
Now it’s “Gypsy,” “Othello,” “Sunset Blvd.,” Alvin Ailey. Go. Then see uptown, Bronx Zoo, Botanical Garden, downtown, Chinatown, crosstown, Diamond District, Empire State Building, the High Line, Statue of Liberty, Ellis Island, the Seaport, take a helicopter, ride a bus, get to the top of the Rock, Coney Island, Museum of Natural History, Metropolitan Museum, Dumbo, Hudson Yards, Grand Central, ice skating rink, Freedom Tower, our famous bull, Brooklyn Bridge, Yankee Stadium, the fish market, walk Park Avenue, do Jones Beach.
And read the New York Post. Also, if you try congestion pricing — mazel tov.
It may end up, I see you in the same place next week, where the big box offices will be George Clooney in “Good Night, and Good Luck,” Denzel and Gyllenhaal in “Othello,” the biggie from London’s Olivier Awards — “Operation Mincemeat,” “Oh, Mary!” and last year’s off-B’way win the “Dead Outlaw” musical.
Only in New York, kids, only in New York.