By Free Republic | Created at 2024-12-19 19:19:46 | Updated at 2024-12-29 18:00:08
1 week ago
Congress Proposes New Law Banning Anyone From Reading Spending Bill Until It's Passed
Babylon Bee ^ | 12/19/2024 | Babylon Bee
Posted on 12/19/2024 10:09:38 AM PST by DFG
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The United States Congress introduced bold legislation this week that, if passed, would ban reading any future spending bills until after they become law.
"We needed to pass a new budget to give ourselves raises and pay off lobbyists and bankrupt the country," said House Representative Kay Granger, Chair of the House Appropriations Committee. "But people keep reading the bill and ruining everything."
"Reading is a grave threat to democracy," she added.
House Speaker Mike Johnson, who previously said reading is fundamental, plans to bring the Readers Are Dweebs Bill to the house floor soon. "Look, I just need to pass this budget, then I can go home for Christmas and sit on the couch and eat ham while I watch my kids open presents," he said. "If banning reading is the way to do it, then so be it. I mean, we're certainly not going to draft a reasonable budget. That would be ridiculous."
Though polling suggests the American people would support a government budget that decreased the national debt, Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer vehemently opposed the idea. "Chucky's gotta get paid, son," he told Fox News.
At publishing time, Representative Thomas Massie had attached a rider to the Readers Are Dweebs Bill, which banned writing spending bills.
TOPICS: Humor
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1 posted on 12/19/2024 10:09:38 AM PST by DFG
To: DFG
We have to pass it to know what’s in it.
2 posted on 12/19/2024 10:11:51 AM PST by Larry Lucido (Donate! Don't just post clickbait!)
To: DFG
We have to pass it first to find out what’s in it. [paraphrase] Pelosi the ripper
3 posted on 12/19/2024 10:13:09 AM PST by PGalt (Past Peak Civilization?)
To: DFG
Those guys at The Babylon Bee get closer to the truth with every article!
4 posted on 12/19/2024 10:13:12 AM PST by .30Carbine
To: PGalt
5 posted on 12/19/2024 10:19:46 AM PST by Larry Lucido (Donate! Don't just post clickbait!)
To: Larry Lucido
How in TAF could anyone vote for it? It happened so.....
6 posted on 12/19/2024 10:29:32 AM PST by rktman (Destroy America from within ? Check! WTH? Enlisted USN 1967 to end up with this💩? 🚫💉! 🇮🇱👍!)
To: Larry Lucido
7 posted on 12/19/2024 10:31:13 AM PST by Churchillspirit (Pray for President Trump)
To: DFG
Please explain why this is even considered satire.
8 posted on 12/19/2024 10:32:00 AM PST by Lazamataz (The BEST birthday present I ever got WAS DONALD TRUMP WINNING IN 2024!!!)
To: Lazamataz
The Bee is tired of being fact checked so they are just reporting actual news now.
9 posted on 12/19/2024 10:45:50 AM PST by Larry Lucido (Donate! Don't just post clickbait!)
To: Lazamataz
10 posted on 12/19/2024 11:01:48 AM PST by adc (wethepeople)
To: Larry Lucido
The Bee is tired of being fact checked so they are just reporting actual news now.
I know, right?
11 posted on 12/19/2024 11:17:38 AM PST by Lazamataz (The BEST birthday present I ever got WAS DONALD TRUMP WINNING IN 2024!!!)
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