By The Babylon Bee | Created at 2025-03-14 18:25:24 | Updated at 2025-03-14 21:22:17
2 hours ago
HOULTON, ME — Local man Chris Porter stumbled upon an incredible life hack to reduce his family's electric bill after giving each of his children a pair of night vision goggles so his family would never have to turn on a light ever again.
"Look, kids! This is an ATN PVS-7! It has a wide field of view and sharp resolution to allow for increased visibility and target acquisition," Porter told his kids. "Aren't they great? Now put these on and I'll turn off the lights. Forever."
According to sources, it had been a full month since the Porter house went dark. Neighbors eventually became concerned, wondering what had happened to them, only to discover the entire family was wearing night vision goggles.
"It's a pretty genius idea," said next-door neighbor John Wilcox. "Maybe I should get some night vision goggles for my family."
Porter reportedly had no major issues getting his children behind the idea since wearing night vision goggles is every little boy's dream, although his daughter took a little more convincing. He eventually won her over by telling her she could use the night vision goggles to catch fairies in the dark. His wife, however, protested.
"Here's a little hand crank flashlight," he said, giving his wife a long overdue anniversary present. "You can take a break from the goggles with this."
The ATN PVS-7 is a civilian counterpart of the AN/PVS-7 used in a military context. It's an absolute steal at only $3,995 per pair. and at a low weight of only 1.5 pounds, the PVS-7 is versatile night vision goggle gear that children as young as five can use.
At publishing time, Porter had revealed that his power bill had been reduced by as much as $4.00.
Under a new presidential order, posting in support of Ukraine will automatically draft you into the military.
