By The Babylon Bee | Created at 2026-09-25 19:55:16 | Updated at 2026-09-25 20:58:04
1 hour ago
FRANKLIN, TN — Local husband and father Greg Hartley, who came down with a case of the sniffles earlier this week, was officially listed as "questionable" for church attendance (or anything) this coming Sunday.
Hartley began experiencing the symptoms of a man cold on Tuesday, which sources said was expected to put him on the family's inactive list for the foreseeable future.
"It's touch and go at this point," Hartley said. "I've restricted my movements to the couch while remain under the care and supervision of my wife."
According to the family injury report, this is the 10th time Hartley has been excused from family chores in his career as a result of a man cold.
"I keep telling him to just get up and go back to work, but he won't listen to me," his wife, Debra, said. "He just looks at me with these pitiful eyes and I somehow end up getting him an iced tea from the fridge."
"Every time I cough, it hurts my back," Hartley said. "This could be career-threatening."
At publishing time, Hartley had recovered significantly after remembering he had golf with the boys scheduled for Saturday morning.
Senator Mitch McConnell isn't doing too many interviews these days, but The Babylon Bee's Travis got the opportunity to sit down with the man, the myth, and the legend himself.
