Dad Tells Kids About Good Old Days When You Didn't Need To Download Firmware Updates For Toy Trains

MILWAUKEE, WI — Local dad Greg Evans took a trip down memory lane earlier this morning when he had to tell his kids about the good old days when you didn't have to download firmware updates for toy trains.

Evans' reminiscences were initially sparked when his son Chris came to ask him how to update the firmware on the train set that he'd gotten for Christmas, as it was already out of date.

"Son, let me tell you about when Dad was a kid, okay?" Evans sighed. "Back in the good old days, we didn't have to download firmware updates for the toys we got for Christmas every two days. It was a golden age of societal joy, when the worst thing that could happen to you was the dreaded ‘Batteries Not Included.' We have strayed so far."

Evans broke off, as his son's attention had started wandering shortly after the 15-second mark in his soliloquy. Sources say that he bit his lip to hold back the rising tide of memories about how neither the Game Boy Advance nor the SNES he grew up on had ever needed firmware updates.

At publishing time, Evans had been plunged into another flood of nostalgia after his daughter Gracie came to him to ask him to install the routine software update on her new Hello Kitty teapot set.

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