By Daily Mail (U.S.) | Created at 2025-03-22 14:04:38 | Updated at 2025-03-23 11:02:16
21 hours ago
Relationship experts have issued a warning about a dating new trend set to sweep through Generation Z.
'Roaching' is where someone secretly dates and sleeps with multiple people at the same time.
The term comes from the idea that if a person sees one cockroach scuttling around, it usually means there is an infestation of them not far behind.
It's not classed as cheating it applies to 'situationships' where a couple have not agreed to be exclusive.
Kathryn Alice, a 'heartbreak coach' from the US, made a TikTok video about the phenomenon.
'Roaching is when the person you're dating is hiding the fact that they're involved with multiple at the same time. Is this a crime?
'No. But keeping it hidden is not very honest.
She claimed that men tend to do it more because 'women often assume that after a couple of dates, the man is not dating anyone else.'
Here, FEMAIL reveals the five warning signs that your situationship could be roaching you...
'Roaching' is where someone secretly dates and sleeps with multiple people at the same time
They're acting shady
If the person you're seeing is acting secretive about their personal life and not telling you elements about themselves, then it could be a sign of roaching.
They may also not be very upfront when you ask them about their relationship status which may involve trying to change the subject when they ask about their dating life and if they are seeing anybody else.
Steven Pond, a relationship TikToker from Bromley, said that they may also be shady about their phone and social media.
This could mean their social media accounts such as Instagram and Facebook have minimal pictures and personal details on it.
They may also post photos from events and nights out that you have no idea about because they've intentionally hidden it from you.
Mixed signals
Steven Pond, a relationship TikToker from Bromley, said that they may also be shady about their phone and social media
Feeling as though you're constantly left hanging or you're getting conflicting messages from people you're dating, this could be another red flag.
Senior therapist Sally Baker said that people with suspicions their new flame is a roach should 'look out for giveaways in their body language' that they're telling lies or avoiding the truth.
'Most people are uncomfortable telling lies so they will subconsciously give clues either verbally or physically that they're not being transparent or completely honest,' she previously told Metro.
'Be observant. Listen to what's said and how they say it. Over-explaining is as much a give away as stumbling over their words or speaking quickly that they're trying to create a smokescreen with the truth hidden somewhere underneath.'
Roaches may also disappear for out of the blue for odd amounts of time with no explanation, before coming crawling back with a bad excuse.
Last minute plans
If your date cancels with short notice, it can be disappointing, especially if you've taken the time to clear your schedule and prepare for it.
However, if this happens on a daily basis, it could mean they are getting offers to go out with their other lovers.
Steven says that they can also be flaky when making plans, as they may not remember if they had pre-agreed to go out with another person and are trying to avoid getting caught out.
But they could also be holding out to see if a better offer comes along.
If your date cancels plans on a daily basis, it could mean they are getting offers to go out with their other lovers
Lack of commitment
If you're ready to get into a new relationship but they're acting rather aloof when you try and have a serious chat, this could be another warning sign of roaching.
Instead of having an honest conversation about how they feel, they keep stringing you along and you're left uncertain about where you stand with them.
Steven said this could include being vague about their other connections - but also refusing to label your relationship, because they don't want to commit to you exclusively.
Sally says this chat should come naturally if you continue to spend more and more time with each other.
She told the outlet: 'If you've met their mates; feature in their social media posts; stayed over their place and spent several consecutive weekends together you're on firmer ground with clear indications your relationship is ready to go to the next level.'
They avoid talking about the future
When you grow closer and closer to someone, you may be excited about your new potential life with them.
However, according to Steven, another red flag is if they avoid talking about your future together - because they perhaps don't see one.
Instead of having an honest discussion with you about where you are on their list of priorities, a roach will instead do everything they can to drag on situationship without committing.
