By Daily Mail (U.S.) | Created at 2024-12-11 13:05:18 | Updated at 2024-12-22 19:33:29
1 week ago
Dear Jane,
My boyfriend of three years broke up with me last week completely out of the blue, and I was left feeling devastated and emotionally vulnerable.
My work Christmas party was the following night and all my colleagues were determined to make sure I had fun, despite the breakup.
Suffice to say: I got very, very drunk.
Ever since I started working at this company last year, I have consistently engaged in flirty banter with one handsome guy on my team. I was always in a relationship, so it never went further than little inside jokes and cheeky comments.
But after we hit the booze at the party, I ended up kissing him in front of all my co-workers.
My memory is hazy, but I think we were locking lips in the middle of the dancefloor for at least 30 minutes. I also discovered a crumpled-up printout picture in my purse of us going at it inside the photobooth. Major yikes!
Luckily, I was too drunk to go home with him, but I woke up the next morning with the worst hangxiety of my life.
Dear Jane: I got too drunk and did something SO embarrassing at the company holiday party.
I don't really remember how we left things but he texted me the next day saying he'd 'had fun' with me and hoped I got home safely.
I am dreading going back into the office on Monday.
Now I have kissed him, we can never go back to our innocent flirty friendship.
I'm scared he is going to try and kiss me again – or ask me on a date, which I am not ready for.
Plus, so many of my coworkers saw the kiss and know that I'd only just broken up with my boyfriend, which is so humiliating.
How can I clean up this mess without ruining my friendship with my colleague or hurting his feelings?
From,
Heartbreak & Hangxiety
International best-selling author Jane Green offers sage advice on readers' most burning issues in her agony aunt column
Dear Heartbreak & Hangxiety,
Trust me, we have been there. Even if we haven't been in your exact shoes, most of us have had too much to drink as a result of heartbreak... and have done things we are not proud of.
The first thing to remember is that it was just a kiss – and a drunken kiss at that. There's no reason why that kiss has to now get in the way of a friendship.
Get ahead of the potential drama, invite the handsome guy for coffee and tell him that you value your friendship, and hope that an ill-advised drunken kiss won't get in the way of that.
You could perhaps even find humor in the situation. If he has any dignity, he'll no doubt reciprocate accordingly. If he does suggest a date or say he wants to explore a different kind of relationship, explain that you're not ready.
Open communication is key here.
Be very relieved you didn't go home with him. And in future, remember that it's best not to drink quite so much at work events.
It's easy to laugh off inebriated mistakes with friends, but much harder to do so with colleagues.
However friendly you are with your colleagues, they are still colleagues, and it is still work. You must remember that and keep your wits about you.
