By The Babylon Bee | Created at 2026-06-16 15:35:29 | Updated at 2026-06-16 21:01:44
5 hours ago
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In the wake of Elon Musk officially becoming the world's first confirmed trillionaire, leaders of the Democratic Party pledged to never stop fighting as long as anyone in America is still allowed to be successful.
After news broke of Musk's trillionaire status, Democrats vowed to fight the cause of financial success in the United States with everything they have.
"This level of success is immoral," House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries said in a joint statement to the press with Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer. "Never before have we seen this type of blatant upward mobility. I will do everything in my power to ensure no one else in this great nation of ours will ever see this sort of financial victory. The government needs that money to fund things. Lots of things."
Prominent party leaders railed against Musk online after the announcement of SpaceX's IPO made the engineer the world's first-ever trillionaire. Schumer echoed fellow Democrats Elizabeth Warren, Bernie Sanders, and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez in criticizing Musk's success and promised the American people they would work hard to make sure no one is ever allowed to reach the same levels of wealth again.
"Our country's unique ability to enable individuals from all walks of life to work hard and make money is an atrocity," Schumer said. "We need to be more like Europe, where people are taxed so much there's no possible way for them to build businesses or accumulate wealth unless they run a global human trafficking enterprise. No one should be allowed to be wealthy outside of government."
At publishing time, Musk was on his way to making another trillion dollars, despite Democrats' best efforts.
After a slight mixup, Steve, Timpani, and Britunni end up at the Alamo instead of the Alamo Car Rental. Protestors block their way out and Timpani is going into labor!
