By The Babylon Bee | Created at 2025-01-28 19:10:23 | Updated at 2025-01-31 03:06:39
2 days ago
U.S. — As people on both sides of the immigration debate continued to grow louder, Democrats warned America that President Donald Trump's policies would lead to skyrocketing unemployment among child traffickers.
The concern comes from increased signs that deporting illegal aliens and cracking down on border security will eventually have a significant negative impact on the child trafficking industry, something the Democrats see as an assault on workers.
"Make sure everyone knows President Trump wants to eliminate a bunch of jobs," said Senator Chuck Schumer. "These reckless policies under his new administration will be devastating to child trafficking businesses across the country and likely result in vast numbers of kidnappers, smugglers, and other criminals being put out of their jobs. Leave it to Republicans to declare war on workers."
One child trafficker confirmed the danger Trump's policies posed to his employment. "I'll be out of work here before too long," said Luis Hernandez, who has been a hardworking human trafficker for over 10 years. "It's like Trump doesn't even consider what effect this might have on an entire industry. We knew Joe Biden and the Democrats would always have measures in place that would keep our jobs secure, but Trump? He's hanging us out to dry."
Experts speculated that if child traffickers are unable to find work, American citizens are unlikely to fill the void. "Most Americans don't want to kidnap kids," one expert said.
At publishing time, Democrats also wanted that securing the border would likely cause a catastrophic shortage of black market Fentanyl.
Trump is cleaning house, and with Kash Patel as the presumptive head of the FBI, that department is no exception.
