EXCLUSIVE: Canadian Mother Was Told To Be More “Inclusive” After Complaining About A Male Wearing A “Child’s Bikini” While Showering With Young Girls At Her Local Pool

The mother of a young girl in British Columbia, Canada, is speaking out after a man in a pink, sparkly bikini — adorned with sparkles, frills and princess tiaras — was found showering in the female changing room of her local public pool. After reporting the man’s presence, she was told that the facility “welcomes and celebrates diversity.” 

Angie Tyrrell of Saanich, BC, spoke to Reduxx about the distressing experience, which occurred on July 5 of this year at Commonwealth Place, a local recreation center. Tyrrell recounts she had brought her daughter, who was 10 at the time, and her daughter’s friend, who was 11, for a playdate at the pool, where she watched them from the sidelines. After the girls were done, Tyrrell waited for them in the bathroom area of the female changing room.

But what should have been a peaceful end to a fun-filled day quickly turned to panic after the young girls ran out of the shower room. Approaching Tyrrell, the two whispered: “There was a man in the shower with us.” Terrified, Tyrrell instructed the girls to get changed out of their bathing suits inside of the nearby toilet stalls so that the man would not see them undress. 

Soon after, Tyrrell witnessed a teenage girl with her top off immediately cover herself and flee into a toilet stall when the man entered the bathroom area. There were numerous women and children in the room, and Tyrrell noted that they all appeared to become uncomfortable and began to hurriedly get dressed and disperse. Tyrrell says the man, who had a hairy chest and back, was wearing what appeared to be a sparkly pink child’s bikini, which was adorned with princess tiaras and frills.

After the girls were finished changing, Tyrrell approached the reception desk to alert staff that a male was in the female change room. Tyrrell tells Reduxx that staff were dismissive, even when she stated: “He’s wearing a child’s bikini, but he’s definitely a man.”

Upset and concerned, Tyrrell attempted to contact higher ups at the Commonwealth Pool via e-mails she shared with Reduxx.

Bree Dobler, the assistant manager of the facility, responded to Tyrrell in an email signed with “she/her” pronouns. In her first reply, Dobler didn’t appear to understand the problem, and seemed to simply believe there was a concern about the man’s bikini.

“While the District of Saanich welcomes and celebrates diversity, and we encourage visitors to our Recreation Facilities to use the restroom or changeroom with which they identify and where they feel most safe. All patrons are expected to respect the privacy and identity of others and wear appropriate attire for swimming as outlined in our Code of Conduct. You did the right thing by approaching staff with your concerns and it is unfortunate that they did not take your concerns seriously and call the onsite supervisor to gain better understanding of the situation and follow up accordingly.  I will be following up with our staffing teams in this regard,” Dobler said, adding: “Should it assist with your comfort on your next visit we do have the option of universal or single stall washrooms or changerooms for patrons with concerns for their own modesty or want to maintain more privacy.”

Tyrrell replied incredulously, re-articulating her concern.

“I don’t think it’s right that a man’s wish to ‘feel most safe’ in women’s only spaces should be deemed a higher priority than the legitimate physical and emotional need for women and girls to actually be safe… You say if we are concerned that we should use the universal change room. But why should all of the women—who the women’s change facility is for—have to leave to accommodate a man?”

Dobler’s next email took on a distinctly sharper tone.

“…everyone’s gender identity and expressions are valid. Everyone is welcome in our centres in the changeroom where they feel most safe. Gender expression and identity is protected under BC’s Human Rights Code and we are proud to have a Diversity in Changerooms Policy in our centres,” she wrote. “There is no evidence to support that providing diversity in changerooms has increased incidents or safety of others. I understand that the topic of gender diversity in change rooms can be sensitive and presented the option of the universal or single stall washrooms or changerooms. Our goal is to create an inclusive environment where everyone feels respected and valued. I understand that this is a complex issue and appreciate the open dialogue and feedback. Thank you for your understanding and for helping us make our community more inclusive.”

Tyrrell then sent a final email to Dobler, which went ignored. It partly read: “I see where you’re coming from now. You actually believe that the 6-foot-tall muscular man with the hairy chest and back who took a shower with my 10-year-old daughter was a woman because he was wearing a bikini. That is magical/religious thinking.” 

Since her experience at the Commonwealth Pool, Tyrrell has refused to use the public facilities in Saanich, as she fears it is unsafe for her and her daughter. The two have not returned to the recreation center.

Staff at Saanich Commonwealth Place did not respond to a request for comment.

The BC Human Rights Code referred to by Dobler does prioritize self-declared “gender,” allowing males to enter female-only spaces on the basis of their chosen “identity.” On the province’s website, the government of British Columbia asserts that “trans people must be recognized and treated as the gender they live in and prefer to express.” Businesses and public facilities that fail to accommodate trans-identified males may be subject to “discrimination” claims.

This is the second publicized case involving a trans-identified male utilizing the women’s restrooms at a public recreation center on Vancouver Island. Just one hour north of Saanich is Nanaimo, where one mother was threatened with police after reporting that a male had been “watching” her daughter change in the women’s restroom of the Nanaimo Aquatic Centre.

Janayh Wright, a photographer and mother of three, spoke to Reduxx about her own encounter with the man in February of last year.

Wright says that while in the changing room waiting for her young daughter, she witnessed a man wearing a wig and a face mask enter the women’s facility and proceeded to walk over to the shower area. Wright says he did not have a towel or pool bag, and gave no indication that he was getting changed or going swimming. He then returned and entered the stall next to the one Wright’s daughter was changing in.

Wright then witnessed the man try to peer under the stall divider and into the cubical her daughter was using. She immediately confronted him as he exited, but the man simply responded that he identified as female and that it was his “human right to be in the women’s changing room.”

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