Finding Comfort When Christmas Feels Broken

"I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me." - Psalm 16:8 NLT

I sat on the couch on Christmas Eve, trying to hold back my tears, as my three children stood in front of me, presents in their arms, concerned expressions on their faces. 

They were headed to their Grandmother’s house for Christmas dinner, just as we had done for twenty years, but this year was different. My husband and I had abruptly separated just a few months earlier, so for the first time in their entire lives, they were going to the family holiday gathering -  without me. 

They were so hesitant to leave me alone on Christmas Eve, and they felt unsure about how things would be when they got to their destination. Everyone’s hearts were hurting, and we were still trying to navigate this unfamiliar territory that had become our new lives.   

I knew this was as hard on them as it was on me, so I put on a fake smile, assured them I would be fine, and encouraged them to have a nice visit. Despite my heart aching, I somehow managed to hold back the tears. I gave them all big hugs and ushered them out the door, watching the car drive down the street until the red taillights disappeared into the wintry night. 

After they left, a deep sense of loneliness hung heavy in the air, drowning out the fresh pine scent of the tree. Staring at the twinkling lights, the tears I had held back dripped down my cheeks, and the sadness settled deep into my heart. Not only did my family feel broken, and Christmas felt broken, but I also felt broken. 

I let my emotions flow, but after a while, I breathed a heavy sigh, exhaled deeply, wiped my tears, and sat up straight. The only solace I could find was reminding myself of God's promises in scripture to always be with me and that even though my husband had left, my heavenly Father never would. Even though I sat alone, He was there.  And even though I felt broken beyond repair, He was the glue that could hold me together. I knew I needed to refocus on the fact that even though my life had changed, God was still the same sovereign God, and I could have confidence that one day things would be okay, and so would I.

Psalm 16’s Comfort for a Broken Heart

I love reading the passage in Psalm 16 that reminds us of this truth. Here, we read about a time when David felt especially left behind, forgotten, and afraid. He felt broken and wondered what lay ahead. 

Life had changed, and the story describes him hiding in the woods, knowing Saul and his army were in a hot pursuit to find and kill him. Yet, instead of letting his emotions shake him up and destroy his faith, David shifted his attitude and intentionally chose to capture his thoughts and stop thinking the worst. He decided to refocus on God’s Presence and His faithfulness, which is exactly what I had to do that difficult Christmas evening as I sat in my den with just little ‘ol me. We see evidence of him doing this in Psalm 16:8 when David says, 

“I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me.” 

I can imagine him wiping his tears, sitting up straight, taking a deep breath, and mustering up the determination to trust God and think the best. Psalm 16 has been described as an expression of David's confidence and satisfaction in the Lord despite his circumstances. He expresses his confidence that God will be with him and take care of him, not only in his earthly life but also after his death. Therefore, He didn’t need to feel hopeless. In Psalm 16:11, he writes, 

“You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever.” 

He found joy in knowing he was never really alone as a child of God. At the end of Psalm 16, though David felt broken, he prophesies about Jesus, God's Holy One, and His future victorious resurrection.

We, too, can choose to make the same choice as David when we are enduring hard times. We all experience countless situations that can make us feel alone and abandoned and leave us struggling to push past the fears of the unknown and the pain of heartbreak.

Finding Peace When Life Feels Broken

A spouse says they’re leaving. A separation or divorce becomes final. You uncover painful truths about betrayal or infidelity that turn your world upside down. An employer says we’re no longer needed. A family member leaves this world too soon. A friend turns their back on us. We find ourselves struggling with empty nest syndrome, wondering what lies ahead in the next season of life. All circumstances which can feel impossible to overcome, leaving us trying to pick up the pieces of our broken hearts and wondering if we’ll ever feel whole and happy again. 

Even in the Christmas season, although it should be a time of joy and celebration, the realities and problems of life don’t take a holiday. Our emotions can shake us up, too, and steal our Christmas joy, no matter how badly we wish we could feel differently. We can easily feel just like David, lost, afraid and alone. We may even feel like our faith is wavering, especially if life has changed and the holidays don’t feel the same. But the choice to overcome is ours. By reminding ourselves that God will never leave us or forsake us and keeping our focus on His Presence, our hearts will be better equipped to handle anything we face.

The presence of God is the most incredible gift and is the core of the Christmas season. It’s a gift that can comfort, empower, and strengthen us in difficult times. Knowing how much He loves us can give us the courage to persevere and confidence in knowing we are His. We simply have to remember to open the eyes of our hearts so we can see and feel the One who is always there. God sent His Son so we wouldn’t have to live feeling hopeless, lost, alone, forgotten, or broken. In Him, we can be whole, healed, loved, and at peace, not only during the holidays but all year long.

If this Christmas is hard for you due to separation or divorce, consider purchasing Tracie’s book Living Unbroken: Reclaiming Your Life and Your Heart After Divorce, as well as her Living Unbroken Divorce Recovery Workbook, which comes with seven beautiful teaching videos to help women heal and grow beyond the pain of divorce. 
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/fizkes

Tracie Miles is the Author of eight best-selling books, including God’s Got You, Living Unbroken, Living Unbroken: A Divorce Recovery Workbook, Love Life Again, Unsinkable Faith, and Stress Less Living. She is the founder of Tracie Miles Author Coaching Services, where she coaches and mentors aspiring writers, and the founder of Tracie Miles Literary Agency. She also serves as the Director of COMPEL Pro Writers Training at Proverbs 31 Ministries, as well as being a contributing writer for the Proverbs 31 Ministries Encouragement for Today daily devotions. Tracie has three grown children, plus a daughter and son-in-law, and two grandbabies on the way, all of whom live in Charlotte, North Carolina. You can connect with Tracie on her website at www.traciemiles.com as well as on her Facebook Author page and Instagram.