By The Babylon Bee | Created at 2025-01-22 21:50:17 | Updated at 2025-01-23 01:28:20
3 hours ago
LOS ANGELES, CA — After briefly listening to former Vice President Kamala Harris speak, survivors of the Los Angeles fires hopped back in their cars and drove directly into the flames.
Harris flew directly to California after leaving office to speak to those forced to flee their homes, but her cackling quickly sent residents fleeing back into the fiery cauldron.
"Give me the fire any day," said local man Daniel Miller, after thirty seconds of listening to Harris. "I've got a full tank of gas and I'm heading straight back to the heart of the blaze. Adios."
According to witnesses, Harris immediately broke out into her signature laughter as she began to address the devastating tragedy. After several attempts to begin speaking were broken up by giggling, Harris did manage to explain how she could empathize with people losing their homes to a fire because she had grown up in a middle-class family. Harris then proceeded to discuss her plan to run for governor of California, sending the remaining residents retreating back to the fires.
At publishing time, the fire itself had begun to flee to the ocean after hearing the approach of Harris.
Meet John Larson, a paraplegic firefighter who is breaking barriers with the LAFD.
