By The Babylon Bee | Created at 2025-03-22 18:45:38 | Updated at 2025-03-23 20:45:36
1 day ago
U.S. — Google Maps has added a new feature in its latest update which will offer drivers a shortcut to their destination, but through a route guaranteed to make them fear for their lives.
While Google Maps has often taken unsuspecting drivers into dangerous ghettos, the new option will allow drivers to decide precisely how many minutes of reduced travel time they will risk grievous bodily harm for.
"Now, drivers will know exactly what they're signing up for when they say they really want the fastest route," said Google engineer Joe Contreras. "Do you want it bad enough to witness a few crimes on the way? Maybe dodge a couple bullets? What's getting there seven minutes early worth to you?"
So far, the new feature has received a warm reception from users. "Shave five minutes by driving through the worst part of Chicago? Sure, why not," said local man Ron Billings, trying out the new feature. "I'm feeling lucky today. This thing is pretty cool."
At publishing time, funeral services for Mr. Billings had been scheduled for Wednesday.
The Founding Fathers didn't always agree behind closed doors.
