By Daily Mail (U.S.) | Created at 2024-10-29 22:46:54 | Updated at 2024-11-05 03:47:09
6 days ago
The grandson of a Mormon apostle has shared about his life growing up gay and the church's inability to accept his sexuality.
In a poignant reflection of his upbringing, Jared Oaks, a 42-year-old music director for Ballet West, shares his journey with the Salt Lake Tribune and how he went form a shy Latter-day Saint teenager grappling with his sexuality in the late 1990s to an advocate for LGBTQ+ awareness and acceptance today.
Growing up in Tacoma, Washington, Oaks internalized the teachings of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, which labeled same-sex attraction as sinful. He recalled the church's stern rhetoric and the writings of its apostles, such as Dallin H. Oaks, his own grandfather and a prominent church leader, which reinforced a culture of condemnation toward homosexuality.
In a recent interview, Oaks discussed how this environment not only led to emotional distress but also created a backdrop for potential violence.
'When we are taught that others are morally corrupt or dangerous for how they love, we create an environment ripe for violence,' he said.
His sentiments echo the tragic case of Matthew Shepard, a young gay man brutally murdered in 1998, which serves as a harrowing reminder of the consequences of such harmful rhetoric.
In a poignant reflection of his upbringing, Jared Oaks (pictured), a 42-year-old music director for Ballet West, shares his journey with the Salt Lake Tribune and how he went form a shy Latter-day Saint teenager grappling with his sexuality in the late 1990s to an advocate for LGBTQ + awareness and acceptance today
He recalled the church's stern rhetoric and the writings of its apostles, such as Dallin H. Oaks (pictured), his own grandfather and a prominent church leader, which reinforced a culture of condemnation toward homosexuality
The grandson of a Mormon apostle has divulged about his life growing up gay and the church's inability to accept his sexuality
Oaks' early years were marked by confusion and a desire to suppress his sexuality, influenced by church teachings that left him feeling 'dirty' for his attractions.
While serving a two-year mission in Sweden, he conformed to church expectations, but upon returning to the U.S., he faced the reality of his identity as he transitioned to Brigham Young University (BYU).
His time at BYU, known for its strict Honor Code, proved to be a pivotal moment when he defended friends who were reported for their same-sex relationship, despite being deeply closeted himself, igniting a realization that his own identity could no longer be repressed.
After years of navigating his faith and sexuality, Oaks eventually distanced himself from the church while still engaging with its music community.
His relationship with his family, particularly with his grandfather, has been strained. While Jared revealed his sexuality to his parents in 2011, their response was muted, simply responding to his confession with 'ok.'
Dallin H. Oaks, for his part, offered little more than a reminder to remain part of the church's rituals, highlighting a disconnect that left Jared feeling unsupported during a critical period of self-acceptance.
In a world where rhetoric from religious leaders can lead to tangible harm, Jared Oaks emphasizes the importance of love and acceptance. He contrasts the teachings of his grandfather with the broader, more inclusive messages he encounters within the Latter-day Saint community.
'Many of my Latter-day Saint friends do not act and speak with anything but love for everyone,' he noted, asserting that they represent a 'true church' of compassion.
Oaks has recently composed a piece titled 'Bleeding,' inspired by a poem by Utah poet May Swenson, for the concert 'Life After Laramie: A Matthew Shepard Memorial Concert,' scheduled for October 27 at the Rose Wagner Performing Arts Center.
The piece will be performed by transgender singer Evie Marie Gilgen, a close friend of Oaks. He believes that the act of 'bleeding' symbolizes not just physical pain but the emotional and spiritual wounds inflicted by societal and religious intolerance.
'When we are taught that others are morally corrupt or dangerous for how they love, we create an environment ripe for violence,' said Oaks
The Mormon church has a list of more than 150 temples that are either planned or under construction, with at least five (shown above) already opposed by residents' groups
As Jared prepares for the upcoming memorial concert, he remains hopeful for a future where love is celebrated rather than condemned, urging leaders like his grandfather to recognize the profound impact of their words and teachings.'
'The knife doesn't have to feel the pain; the cut does,' he said, emphasizing the need for awareness and change within religious discourse surrounding LGBTQ+ issues.
