By The Babylon Bee | Created at 2026-07-24 20:20:14 | Updated at 2026-07-24 21:04:52
46 minutes ago
HEAVEN — Millions breathed a sigh of relief today as Heavenly sources confirmed that sending a prayer hands emoji counts exactly the same as actually praying for someone.
According to the report, spending two seconds pressing an emoji button holds the same weight in Heaven as 10 minutes of prayerful intercession on someone's behalf.
"It's official," announced a spokesangel. "Once that emoji is sent, your prayer has been registered. It's just the same as engaging one's intellect, heart, and will with the Almighty. The box is checked, the prayer is noted, and boom — you're good to go. Get those prayer hands up, people."
The news came as a reprieve to many who had taken up the habit of praying exclusively via emoji. "Oh sweet. Bro, I prayed so many times today," said local man Darryl Hatch. "I've been wearing out that prayer hands emoji. I'll pray for you too if you'll send me your contact info."
At publishing time, Heavenly sources had also confirmed that if you actually pray for someone, but forget to send the prayer hands emoji, it doesn't actually count.
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