By The Babylon Bee | Created at 2026-10-08 19:30:27 | Updated at 2026-10-08 21:07:12
1 hour ago
FRAMINGHAM, MA — In a surprising twist to a popular home décor motif, the home furnishing retail chain HomeGoods was now selling signs that read, "Live, Laugh, Strangle Your Kids If You're Sad, Love."
By the late-2000s, the "Live, Laugh, Love" sign had become ubiquitous, with seemingly every home having at least one wooden plaque, vinyl wall cling, or throw pillow bearing the now-famous phrase. However, after HomeGoods executives noticed declining sales of "Live, Laugh, Love" in an ever-changing marketplace, they decided that the phrase should be updated to include what women in 2026 want: specifically, the option to strangle their kids when they get really sad.
"Everyone feels that 'Live, Laugh, Love' is just played out in the field of décor," said HomeGoods CEO Bob Homegood. "Women aren't buying it anymore. What women want in today's world is a product that lets everyone who enters their home know, 'Yes, of course, in this house we live, laugh, and love, but also that I am a woman and I have the right to strangle my kids when I get sad.'"
Women around the nation flocked to HomeGoods to celebrate the new décor motif that centers female autonomy, self-care, and child murder.
At publishing time, HomeGoods had just posted its best financial quarter ever, with revenue up 437% due to "Live, Laugh, Strangle Your Kids If You're Sad, Love" signs flying out the door.
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