By The Babylon Bee | Created at 2026-08-14 16:25:22 | Updated at 2026-08-14 17:30:11
1 hour ago
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following the departure of White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt, President Trump got straight to work drafting up a job posting with very specific qualifications for the newly available position.
According to senior aides present in the Oval Office, the former president personally drafted the job description, but was having a hard time spelling a few crucial words in the help-wanted ad.
"Hey, Marco -- how do you spell 'gazongas'?" Trump asked, looking up from his Oval Office desk. "Yes, it's very important, thank you. Is it two z's or one? I want to make sure the requirements are totally clear. It's a very important position, Marco. We have to get this right. Oh wait, one more thing. Does 'badonkers' end in an 's' or a 'z'?"
Witnesses reported that Chief of Staff Susie Wiles chimed in to suggest that Trump also include something about good communication skills. "That's great and all Suzie, but is that helping me spell 'honkerburgers'?" responded Trump. "No. Not it is not. I still have several more lines to fill out here, and this is taking forever. It's a critical job, Suzie. They're going to have a lot on their chest. Alright, does anyone know if 'bon bons' is hyphenated?"
At press time, White House staff had confirmed the job listing had been posted on LinkedIn under the title Senior Communications Director/Dolly Parton Look-alike.
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