How to Stop Peace-Faking and Start Real Peacemaking

Peacemaking requires effort, intentionality, and a willingness to do the hard work of reconciliation. As Jesus said in Matthew 5:9, "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God." Notice that peacemaking is not about "peace-faking"—pretending everything is fine when it’s not. If you fake peace long enough, you’ll end up breaking it. True peacemaking involves actively working to create harmony, even when it’s challenging.

James 3:18 reminds us, "Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness." If you want to live the righteous life God desires, you must put in the work of fostering peace. This also means recognizing that some relationships might not reach perfect harmony. As Paul writes in Romans 12:18, "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." This acknowledges the need for boundaries when necessary—for example, not allowing someone to continue hurting you.

However, setting boundaries doesn’t mean shutting the door on reconciliation. Instead, you can open the door by having honest conversations about what it would take to rebuild the relationship. Show others what reconciliation could look like and give God room to work miracles in those relationships. Peacemaking is hard, but it’s a divine calling that bears the fruit of righteousness and reflects God’s heart.

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Jonathan “JP” Pokluda is the Lead Pastor of Harris Creek Baptist Church in Waco, TX. He was formerly the leader of The Porch in Dallas, TX, which grew to be the largest weekly young adult gathering of its kind in the country. JP didn’t come to understand the grace of the Gospel until his early twenties after being involved in different denominational churches his entire life. This ignited a desire in him to inspire young adults to radically follow Jesus Christ and unleash them to change the world. JP's partner in ministry is Monica, his wife of seventeen years, and together they disciple their children Presley, Finley, and Weston.
He has written 5 best-selling books, and is currently working on “Your Story Has a Villain.” This book is for you if you’re weary from the struggle and ready to embrace the abundant life God has for us. It will help you explore the tactics of Satan, equip you to overcome spiritual battles, and remind you of the victory already secured through Jesus. Learn more at his website, jonathanpokluda.com. Click here for Unite Us, a movement of college students united to lift the name of Jesus.