By Daily Mail (U.S.) | Created at 2024-12-25 16:50:04 | Updated at 2024-12-26 04:56:47
12 hours ago
Having carefully placed the homemade gravy and stuffing on the Christmas table, my ‘wife-in-law’ headed back into the kitchen to grab a jug of Bisto and a second tray of stuffing, this time minus mushrooms, both prepared for my 11-year-old daughter.
Nothing is too much trouble for Corry, my ex-husband’s second wife – I call her my wife-in-law for want of a better name to describe her relationship to me – who magicked up, as she does each year, the most amazing three-course meal for our group of ten.
I was under orders from my ex, fellow comedian Christian Reilly, to steer clear of the kitchen where Corry likes free rein. So while the rest of us played Boggle and drank wine, she rustled up prawn cocktails for starters, a roast turkey dinner and multiple puddings. The planning for this feast began in September. Preparation of the Christmas pudding, cake and mince pies started weeks ago.
While some divorcees, chained together because of the kids, struggle to navigate their relationship with their ex’s new partner, I consider myself very lucky indeed to have lost a husband but gained the perfect wife, since Corry and Christian got together in 2015.
Although she never wanted her own, Corry’s devotion to my children and, by association, to me – the woman who drops them off or picks them up several times a week – knows no bounds.
I know, when I leave them with her, they will be cared for just as well as with me. If I’m honest, better, when it comes to being fed.
I feel more than a pang of envy when I glance at the hearty dinners listed on the meal-plan board in her kitchen, used, as I am, to pouring boiling water over pasta most nights while wondering what the hell I’m going to serve with it.
My son, Cassius, 17, and daughter, Vivie, stay with Corry and Christian every Monday and whenever I’m on tour outside the South-East. They live ten minutes away from me in West London, and it works out at two nights a week on average.
Nothing is too much trouble for Corry, my ex-husband’s second wife – I call her my wife-in-law for want of a better name to describe her relationship to me, writes SHAPPI KHORSANDI
Cassius was nine when Corry came on the scene and Vivie – who is my child from a later relationship, not Christian’s daughter – was five when she began staying over, too.
In the early days I’d go round to collect Vivie as soon as she woke up, as much for my sake as hers because I missed her.
Corry was a comedy producer, but has not worked for a few years due to a chronic condition. I’d known her for a long time before she and Christian got together.
The comedy world is small so I’d see Corry several times a year, at gigs and festivals, and liked her. His previous girlfriend had been less interested in blending family life, which put a strain on our relationship as co-parents.
Corry on the other hand is incredibly family friendly and gives my kids pretty much her undivided attention for wholesome pastimes like knitting and baking, which I rarely have time for. Her specialties are Scottish shortbread and chocolate brownies.
It’s all in stark contrast to the chaos in our house – I have late-diagnosed ADHD so my daily life has always been a bit of a whirlwind. I’m constantly juggling gigs and public speaking events with writing books and also studying for an MSc in psychotherapy.
The many hours Corry spends chatting with Vivie mean she knows all about her great passions, from her favourite author to the Squishy Toys she most wants. So, every Christmas and birthday, I see my daughter’s face light up when she opens her gifts from Corry and Christian.
Vivie has had a special bear, Michael, since she was a baby. Corry found an identical one to live at their house for when Vivie visits. Whenever she stays, Vivie comes home with the most beautifully plaited hair – I’m not sure where I was when these skills were being handed out to women, but her stepmum was at the front of the queue.
Corry and I are not friends, more like relatives, although not officially, of course. But we do spend important times together, like Christmas and the children’s birthdays
One of my fondest memories, as one of only around 20 guests at their intimate wedding in 2022, is of seeing Cassius, then 14, walking Corry down the aisle to where Christian was waiting.
The children loved her from the start – she asked me all about their likes and dislikes so she could make things ‘just right’. Rather than a second mum, I’d say they view her as an adored auntie.
My marriage to Christian only lasted three years and, well aware by then how incompatible he and I had been – any envy I felt was towards him, not Corry. I mean, who wouldn’t want to come home to one of her delicious stews and a big Corry hug?
Now 17, Cassius is at a stage, whether with me or his dad, when he’s either in his room or with friends. Still, he takes advantage of Corry’s wisdom when it comes to homework and talks to her about what’s on his mind. He has those conversations with me too, but it’s nice knowing that, when I’m not around, Corry steps in.
Far from resenting their bond, I so appreciate my children having someone who loves them enough to do algebra.
The important role Corry plays in all our lives is, perhaps, all the more remarkable given that Vivie was born a few years after Christian and I separated and isn’t his biological daughter, though he has always been a wonderful father figure to her. Her dad and I separated before she was born, and Vivie has never met him.
She was only two when Christian and Corry got together and it was so lovely for her when, a couple of years later, they offered to take her too, whenever Cassius went to stay.
Some mothers might be jealous of their kids being so close to their stepmum, however I’m very confident in my bond with my children.
When they were younger, at the very beginning of our blended family, I’d notice Corry would stay upstairs whenever I arrived to pick them up. I remember asking them: ‘Does Corry go to bed when she knows I’m coming round?’ and, honest as children tend to be, they said: ‘Yes, sometimes.’
I didn’t take offence – I understand why she might not always have the bandwidth to cope with me, if I’m honest. I talk ten to the dozen.
Corry and I are not friends, more like relatives, although not officially, of course. We don’t meet in the pub for prosecco nights or have girly weekends away.
But we do spend important times together, like Christmas and the children’s birthdays.
Our motley crew for dinner yesterday – which Corry prepared and served at my house (it’s easier for us to eat here, as I have dogs) – included Christian’s dad, my partner, the comedian Mark Steel, and two of our mutual friends, plus one of their daughters. I’ve no doubt it mirrored what was happening in blended families, more or less harmoniously, throughout the country.
I’ve no idea what Christian makes of the bond I have with Corry, but Mark knows how important it is that, when I’m working, my kids are with someone who loves them so much.
My children’s experience of their stepmother has nothing in common with the Snow White stereotype. There may have been times – when I’m at my most scatterbrained, turning up late with the kids, minus PE kits for the following day – when Corry has been tempted to feed me a poisoned apple. However, to my children, she will always be the perfect Fairy Godmother.
÷Scatter Brain: How I finally got off the ADHD rollercoaster and became the owner of a very tidy sock drawer by Shaparak Khorsandi is published by Vermillion. Shappi will be on tour from January until July. For dates and tickets go to: https://shappi.co.uk/comedian/live-dates
- As told to Helen Carroll
