I'm a travel expert - here's how to tell your friends you can't afford to attend their destination wedding

Wedding season has finally arrived, and while most couples get married in the UK, there's nearly always one who expects everyone to plan an expensive holiday around their big day.

The global destination wedding industry is expected to grow from £27.9 billion in 2024 to a whopping £36.8 billion, as a quarter of Brits shell out thousands for the most scenic overseas location to exchange their vows. 

Guests can end up spending almost as much as the bride and groom, having to fork out over £900 on average to attend.

From flights to accommodation to attire, the mounting costs can prove too much for guests on a budget, as Google searches for 'friend's wedding + debt' increase by a whopping 151 per cent - and as many as 40 per cent of attendees go into arrears. 

Although it's difficult to say no, just how do you break it to the nearly-weds that you are no longer able to attend due to financial strain? 

Fear not, as travel expert Justin Chapman, from Go2Africa, has given his top tips for how to tell loved ones you can't afford to make it to their overseas wedding. 

Be honest - don't make excuses  

Money is a sensitive subject, and as uncomfortable as it might be discussing personal finances with friends, Justin stresses the importance of being transparent in this particular circumstance. 

He said: 'Talking about it can make it even more uncomfortable, and we find ourselves making up excuses for not doing things, rather than being upfront and explaining that it’s out of budget. 

'An honest and simple response is best; there's no need to over-explain, or apologise excessively.'

Inform them immediately

The longer you wait, the harder it will be - and the more upset the couple could be - if it seems like you're bailing at the last minute. 

If you know straight away that you can't afford to go to the wedding, don't delay the conversation.  

Justin adds: 'Letting them know as soon as possible gives them time to adjust their guestlist – or even suggest something that might make it easier for you to attend.'

Don't over-apologise  

Over-apologising can often make the situation bigger than it is, and it can put emotional weight on both you and the couple. 

Justin advises: 'Rather than saying sorry again and again, express your regret once, then move the focus to your excitement for their big day. 

'Try saying "I wish I could be there, but I'll be celebrating you from a distance."'

Suggest an alternative celebration 

Justin recommends suggesting another way to celebrate the couple's big day, such as attending pre-wedding events, or taking them out for a meal once they are home.  

Sharing a video message of raising a glass to the newlyweds on their wedding day, or sending a heartfelt, handwritten note are some of the most conscious ways to show love and support from afar. 

Use "I" statements  

It's important to avoid telling the couple, 'Your wedding is too expensive,' which can make it sound as if they are to blame for you not being able to attend.

Instead, it's advised to use "I" statements, such as 'I wish I could be there, but I’m not going to be able to make it work financially' or 'I'd love to come, but I need to be mindful of my budget,' which avoids placing blame.

Stand your ground and don't feel guilty

Whether the wedding is taking place at a French vineyeard or a Zanzibar island resort - if it's out of your budget, then it's out of your budget. 

Justin's final piece of advice?

'Stay calm, and try not to feel guilty. 

'Remember that genuine relationships are built on mutual respect and understanding, not attendance at events. 

'If they're upset, give them time. They'll understand.'