By The Babylon Bee | Created at 2024-12-16 20:45:28 | Updated at 2024-12-16 22:39:26
1 hour ago
LAS VEGAS, NV — In what industry observers hailed as a win for diversity, equity, and inclusion, Allegiant Airlines made history by announcing that it had hired the airline industry's first straight male flight attendant.
The new hire, Jeff Bradford, had been trying to get a job as a flight attendant for years but was shut out due to an industry-wide mandate that all male flight attendants be completely gay. He was shocked to receive the news that he had broken the glass ceiling despite being straight his entire life.
"I feel honored to be the first man to serve in this occupation without being super gay," Bradford told reporters. "Every other time I interviewed for a flight attendant job, I was immediately eliminated as soon as they asked 'Are you gay?' It was really discouraging. But I never gave up."
Bradford's new role was controversial, as most passengers indicated that they simply weren't ready for a straight male flight attendant.
"As soon as I heard him speaking in a masculine tone without any hint of a lisp, I didn't know how to respond," recalled Talitha Numbers, a passenger on Bradford's first flight. "No pride flags, no rainbows, no long hair — it was making everyone on the plane a little uneasy. But, I guess it's just a sign that society is making progress."
At publishing time, Allegiant Airlines had been forced to only assign Bradford to flights staffed by female flight attendants, as every other male flight attendant in the company kept flirting with him.
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