By The Babylon Bee | Created at 2024-11-24 19:15:19 | Updated at 2024-11-24 21:32:48
2 hours ago
RENO, NV — Local conspiracy theorist Matthew Dorman went on an unhinged rant this morning, professing to a friend that he did not believe in the existence of dragons.
Though well-known for his bizarre beliefs, several friends expressed concern that Dorman had finally gone off the proverbial deep end.
"He's lost it," said friend Danielle Adair. "We didn't think much of him telling everyone that Paul McCartney was replaced in 1966 by a look-alike. We tolerated him claiming the Denver Airport is controlled by the Illuminati. No one thought too much when he claimed the universe was created last Thursday and all of our memories implanted. But not believing in dragons? Matt's gone nutty."
According to sources, Dorman proclaimed that people on television were speaking directly to him, mocking the idea of dragon belief. "This is why we need mental institutions," said friend Don Perry. "We're talking some Beautiful Mind level insanity. I just hope Matt gets the help he needs."
At publishing time, friends had become even more concerned when Dorman claimed to also not believe in elves.
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