KENNEDY: Bonnie Blue's vile sexploits make my 90s Spring Break look tame... even though a certain famous rock band bedded my MTV co-hosts two at a time!

Spring Break is broken.

Take it from me. For years, as a host for MTV, I covered the annual pilgrimage of pale and horny frat boys from America's colder climes to the warm and sunny stretches of Florida's Daytona beach – the home of the Great American Race. 

But in 1990s, things took a turn. The rapacious local officials of the Redneck Riviera came calling. And Panama City Beach began lobbying MTV to help turn their dingy dive bars into the new outposts of good old, ill-advised American fun. 

So, the network flew me and fellow video jockey Steve Isaacs from New York City down south for a test run of their most notorious party spots, Club La Vela and Spinnaker.

I'll never forget introducing the rock band Bush in 1996 in the middle of a thunderstorm. It is one frontman Gavin Rossdale's most iconic performances.

After the band refused to play over reasonable fears of electrocution, Rossdale went on solo – playing Glycerine for the soaking hordes.

It's a piece of Spring Break history to be proud of. But that was a time when music was everything and MTV was an indelible part of coming of age.

Now it's all punks and stunts. You're more likely to leave vacation with a gunshot wound and prescription cream than a guitar pick from your favorite grunge act.

Look no further than rode-hard porn princess Bonnie Blue, famous for bedding 1,058 guys in a single day. 

This lil' angel has been kicked out of Fiji and Australia for her sexploits. Now, she's doing the horizontal cancan in Cancun, generously offering to offset the tuition costs of any young man who consents to being her latest boy toy. 

'I'll be paying towards the college tuition of the Spring Breaker who gives me the best orgasm,' she said.

How sweet! But can you imagine a promising young man sharing the providence of that financial windfall with their mom?

Son: 'Mommy, great news… I got a scholarship!'

Mother: 'That's wonderful honey! Was it from your good grades or community service?'

Son: 'Neither! I had intercourse with a sex-fluencer.'

Look guys, take it from a Spring Break veteran, you're doing this all wrong.

I was young, dumb and full of enthusiasm once, too. But, mercifully, many of my most sordid stories only live on in distorted memories.

(During one Spring Break, a naughty 90s Cali party band lead singer rendezvoused with, not one, but two of my on-air MTV colleagues.)

Now, smartphones and social media are not only documenting these dipstick adventures for posterity but they are egging on even more vile and destructive acts.

I don't know how America returns to the Spring Breaks of yesteryear – when 10 cash-strapped kids seeking cheap shots and sunburns endured a 12-hour road trip to pack into a dirty hotel room.

Most likely those more innocent days are gone forever. But it's dangerous and, frankly, disgusting for our young people to sink into this oversexed, cyber-fueled hysteria every March and April.

I'll take the 90s any spring.

Snow Black-listed 

Snow Woke, 23-year-old Rachel Zegler, has been 'essentially blacklisted' by Hollywood after blathering on about 'sexism' in classic Disney movies and other such progressive claptrap.

Her politically correct remake of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves has even replaced dwarf actors with CGI-characters – eliminating seven good jobs.

I bet poison apples are looking pretty good to Disney execs right now.

Blake Deadly

Speaking of frosty feuds, the vibes between Another Simple Favor co-stars Blake Lively and Anna Kendrick are hilariously glacial.

Pitch Perfect diva Kendrick snapped last week when she was asked about dueling lawsuits between the ex-Gossip Grizzly and Justin 'Man Bun' Baldoni.

'Why what happened? I did ayahuasca and the last year of my life if just gone,' she said.

And how is it working with Blake, reporters asked.

'Oh, you know,' she replied.

Yes, we do. If only this was all just a bad trip.

Dirty Water

Dylan Mulvaney, the beer-swilling trans-activist who nearly sank Bud Light, is taking one last stab at relevance in her new memoir 'Paper Doll'.

The book makes better toilet paper than reading material, but one passage really jumped out.

Dippy Dylan writes about taking 'one last best friend bath' with a female friend, who is married to man.

I guess that with 'friends' like Dylan, you're always squeaky clean.

Dumb Brunette

Former Joe Biden fanboy-turned-backstabber George Clooney has toned down his sexy silver mane.

He greeted fans in New York City this week outside his new Broadway show, 'Good Night and Good Luck,' while sporting a dyed-brown bonnet matching his sassy wife's flowing tresses.

George is either method acting – or hiding from enraged Dems, who blame him for sticking them with Kamala.

Wilted Rosie

Trump-hating blowhard Rosie O'Donnell made good on vows to leave America if Donald was re-elected... and 10 In-N-Out Burger restaurants immediately went bankrupt.

'When it is safe for all citizens to have equal rights there in America, that's when we will consider coming back,' O'Blather said in an insufferable 9-minute video from Ireland.

Oh Rosie, it is so unsafe here. Never come back. And take Sharon Stone, Cher and your former The View harpies with you.

Off Track

Not content with clobbering the competition, Virginia high school track loser and accused bludgeoner Alaila Everett now expects us to believe she's the victim.

Alaila beaned Kaelen Tucker with her baton during a relay race. But never mind Kaelen's skull. Alaila's feelings are hurt!

'Everybody has feelings,' she moaned. 'So, you're physically hurt, but you're not thinking of my mental [health].'

Oh, you're mental alright.

Ugligarchs

It has been an ugly stock season for the crop of billionaires who lined up to support Donald Trump.

The world's richest – about who Democrats moaned would unfairly profit off their new alliance – have reportedly lost over $200 billion in combined wealth since Trump's inauguration.

Senator Elizabeth Warren's personal strawman, Elon Musk, has shed over $150 billion in net worth.

I know its hard for the Liz Warrens of America to wrap their heads around. But maybe, just maybe, Elon got involved in government to help the country?