By The Babylon Bee | Created at 2025-03-20 17:20:26 | Updated at 2025-03-21 07:34:30
14 hours ago
CHICAGO, IL — According to sources, a leftist reportedly smashed a Tesla after seeing a terrifying image of a fascist in the car's window.
The incident occurred late yesterday afternoon in the parking lot of a local Target store, where the suspect claimed to have seen a hateful totalitarian psychopath in the window of a Tesla Cybertruck, leading her to take matters into her own hands and attempt to destroy the vehicle.
"You should have seen it! It was the most disgusting face I've ever seen!" the female suspect, 32-year-old Jordyn Short, reportedly screamed as she was taken into custody. "She was right there in the window! An ugly, scowling woman with purple hair. It's a Tesla, so obviously she's a fascist or a Nazi or something. I knew that I had a responsibility to smash it up. I had to destroy it before it spread more hate."
A police spokesperson said the woman was convinced she was doing a public service. "She's adamant that she helped save the country," said Sgt. Pete Johnson. "The suspect reported being horrified by what she described as ‘staring into the eyes of an absolute demon' when she looked into the vehicle's window. Bystanders tried to intervene, but the face she saw made her feel compelled to throw a brick at it."
At publishing time, police said that the individual the suspect had seen in the Tesla's window had not yet been found and was still at large.
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