By The Babylon Bee | Created at 2025-03-21 17:10:31 | Updated at 2025-03-21 23:40:07
6 hours ago
SALT LAKE CITY, UT — A local mother of four submitted a formal petition this week asking if the Trump administration could shoot her up into space and leave her stranded there for a few weeks for "a little peace and quiet."
Sarah Spencer told her husband she could really use a break after a particularly busy week taking care of their four children and wondered if there was a way she could head up to the International Space Station and be unable to return for a while.
"It actually doesn't sound all that bad," she said. "I bet it needs a little cleaning up anyway. I love being a mom but sometimes a little break and some peace and quiet sounds so nice and I've heard space is really really quiet. They don't even have to cook up there."
Spencer's husband, Marcus, voiced concerns about his wife after she spent the better part of Wednesday staring longingly toward the heavens. "I worry maybe she's been thinking about this a little too much," he said. "I don't think she realizes she might get stuck up there for months. Or maybe she does."
Sarah said she understood the risks but was willing to take the chance.
"Don't get me wrong," she explained. "I love my kids and I love being home with them and I love cleaning and cooking and running errands and doing laundry and wiping noses and picking up dirty socks and packing school lunches and walking the dog and all of it but sometimes I do think being completely alone in space."
At publishing time, Sarah had told her husband she'd settle for something like a bout of appendicitis so she could at least have a few quiet days in the hospital.
The Founding Fathers didn't always agree behind closed doors.
