By The Babylon Bee | Created at 2025-04-05 17:30:24 | Updated at 2025-04-06 08:58:12
15 hours ago
SIOUX FALLS, SD — Local man Thomas Woodward suddenly ramped up his Lenten observance this past week, completely giving up having money in his retirement account.
After years of having dollar bills in his 401k, Woodward surprised his wife with the news that he would henceforth be fasting from that for Lent, and maybe even a while after.
"I'm letting the whole 'saving for retirement' thing go. No more storing up treasures on earth," said Woodward. "The idea came to me sort of out of the blue on Thursday. I knew it was late in Lent, but I thought maybe I would try giving it up. By Friday afternoon, something convinced to me totally fast from having any sort of cash in my 401k."
Though unorthodox, the new fast has become incredibly popular across the nation. Millions of families have reportedly joined Woodward in not having money in their retirement accounts, with observance of the fast stretching across several denominations. While the duration of the fast seems to be fluid, its appeal seems almost universal.
At publishing time, people around the globe had reportedly joined Woodward, the new fast becoming an international phenomenon.
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