By The Babylon Bee | Created at 2026-06-25 16:45:23 | Updated at 2026-06-25 18:22:54
1 hour ago
LEVERETT, MA — A local man suffered a crisis of faith Wednesday after struggling to reconcile his belief in a loving God with the fact that he was never invited to be a contestant on hit 1990s Nickelodeon game show Legends of the Hidden Temple.
Church leadership attempted to comfort the visibly shaken Todd Henderson, 42, as he sought guidance for the apparent contradiction in his mind — that a loving God would deny him entry into Olmec's Temple.
"I've never been on the show. I've never entered the Shrine of the Silver Monkey," Henderson reportedly wept. "But if I can't be on that show, does a loving God really exist?"
According to sources, the elders at New Wine Church only further discouraged Henderson when one of them asked, "Didn't that show get canceled in 1995?"
Henderson admitted to being fully aware the show was no longer on the air, but claimed to know in his "heart of hearts" that a loving God was powerful enough to get him on a canceled game show. Even one designed for kids.
"When the show got rebooted in 2021, I was sure my prayers had been answered," Henderson explained. "But then it got canceled again."
According to witnesses, Henderson cried aloud in agony as he tore his shirt. "Oh, how I wish I were never born!" he lamented.
He concluded his thoughts with a sobering thought, "This must be how Job felt."
Church eldership reportedly waited patiently for Henderson to finish ranting before telling him to be thankful his only problem in life was never having been a contestant on Legends of the Hidden Temple.
"Consider this, Todd," Greg Philbin, one of the elders, said. "What if you entered Olmec's Temple, but were caught by the temple guards before even reaching the artifact? Perhaps you have been spared from such an embarrassment."
Unfortunately, no one could sate Todd Henderson's inner lust for the the treasures of Olmec's Temple.
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