By New York Post (Opinion) | Created at 2025-03-03 01:01:38 | Updated at 2025-03-03 20:20:22
20 hours ago
True tales of the ‘Notorious’
Maureen Dowd, the North Star of the leftish NY Times, has immortalized the big and Pulitzer Prize winning.
Her new HarperCollins book “Notorious: Portraits of Stars from Hollywood, Culture, Fashion, and Tech” runs from Elon Musk to me. She calls Jill Biden “our ventriloquist first lady.”
About my own TV documentary she said: “Now even orthodontists get documentaries.” Repeating a story she wrote “Tom Cruise’s front teeth fell out during a meeting.”
Asked will Ivanka run for senator in Florida? She answered: “She won’t even walk for senator.”
Will she feel sad when the Daily News finally folds, answered: “No, I thought it already did.”
Rats & sky jinks
From an East Side high-level VIP, the following is word for word from my cellphone:
“If you have a car in (she prints the exact East 60s garage address) — RATS! Remove it. It’s infested with rats. All $80,000. The wiring, tubing, brake pads, electronics destroyed. Car was deemed totaled by insurance. $80,000 gone! The garage acknowledged the rat problem but said it’s a building problem and will not engage their insurance company. TOTAL LOSS. BEWARE. Their claims department basically told me to go ‘F’ myself. More than 6 + rats were living in the car.”
In other news, I’m into assorted stories right now. Here’s part of a two-page typed letter to me:
“These people were touring. Concert travel. Chartered private plane. “About 20 of this person’s team on board. A few smoked weed. Completely unconscious, the star had to be carried off the plane. A manager asked, ‘Could the star ride in the cockpit for takeoff?’ The jump seat, only used for flight inspections, was a single seat pulled down from the wall.
“Both sat in the seat. She covered them both with her massive fur coat, then straddled her guy and they had sex. The manager later explained loudly to the whole cabin, ‘There’s nothing like doing it on takeoff.’
“Completely wasted, the star could hardly hold her head up.”
The pilots said: “It was very hard to concentrate on getting the plane in the air when Miss Superstar’s legs were banging against theirs plus she was making sounds not of the concert variety.”
And we’re reading about so many airplane accidents?!
The stars are . . . different
Steve Carell’s wife Nancy: “He doesn’t dry off after a shower. He just puts his wet clothes on.”
Paris Hilton bought over 1,000 outfits just for her dog Tinkerbell before it died in 2015. She said, “I spent over $500K on the clothes.”
Kate Beckinsale: “I can’t drive but I can speak Russian. When I dropped out of Oxford I only spoke Russian with the woman who gave me a bikini wax.”
See? And you thought they were just like everybody else.
My old pal Gene
Gene Hackman I knew well in those good old days. We originally met in the now-gone Dewey Wong’s Chinese restaurant. He was having dinner. Alone.
He told me he’d done a beer commercial in Japan and was nervous about an Oscar nomination.
Now, all of it — and Gene himself — is gone.
Nurse: “What do you call removing a splinter from Volodymyr Zelensky’s backside?”
Answer: ”Brain surgery.”
Only in DC, kids, only in DC.
