By The Babylon Bee | Created at 2026-10-07 18:45:22 | Updated at 2026-10-07 19:44:27
59 minutes ago
WORLD — International fast food giant McDonald's announced today that it had successfully reduced its entire global workforce to 27 kiosks and one guy named José.
McDonald's is the most successful fast food franchise in human history and has a footprint of over 45,356 stores in more than 100 countries. That entire franchise system used to employ around 2.2 million people until the McDonald's corporate office announced that all the orders around the world could now be efficiently handled by 27 self-order kiosks and one guy named José.
"Our projected company revenue in 2026 will be $27 billion," said McDonald's CEO, Bob McDonald. "After the cost-saving measure of switching to these 27 kiosks and one guy named José, we anticipate that our revenue could easily exceed $1 trillion."
The plan was to charge franchise owners more in rent and royalties now that they are saving all that money by not paying for expensive employees. However, franchise owners remained skeptical over the switch saying that while it might look good on paper for McDonald's Corporate, the change to a mere 27 kiosks globally would not help each of the thousands of stores maintain food quality, customer service, or sales numbers.
At publishing time, McDonald's announced that it was also firing José.
Noah's Ark has definitely been found and we highlight 9 incredible artifacts that prove it.
