My girlfriend's airplane habit is so revolting... then I discovered what she does under her blanket. I'm mortified to be seen with her: DEAR JANE

Dear Jane,

My girlfriend and I went on vacation together for the first time a few weeks ago.

I was excited, but pretty nervous - traveling together is a true test for a new relationship.

And I was right to be, because as soon as we boarded our six-hour flight, she did something so horrifying, I don't know how I can look at her the same way.

Immediately upon boarding, she kicked off her shoes and socks, curled up beneath the airline-provided blanket that's surely never been washed, and started watching videos on her phone on full volume. At one point, she even kicked up her bare feet on the arm rest of the person seated in front of her.

I was mortified. Not only was this bad plane etiquette, but it was also disgusting and disrespectful.

Then, she had the audacity to complain about a baby who cried for a small portion of the flight. Listen, a wailing child isn't exactly what people want to hear on a long flight, but she shouldn't be the one complaining after her appalling behavior.

I kept my mouth shut in the moment because I didn't want to ruin our vacation, but it was on my mind the entire time, hanging over our otherwise magical trip.

Now that we're back, I feel that I need to tell her that her airplane etiquette is unacceptable. Her behavior was so embarrassing, and I don't want to be in that position ever again.

I just don't know how to talk to her about this, and worry that I'll sound like I'm trying to control or change her. The only other option, unfortunately, is breaking up, but that seems a bit drastic.

Sincerely,

Airplane Agony

Dear Airplane Agony,

I see this kind of behavior more and more, and I share your bewilderment at how unaware and uncaring people seem to be about their own actions. 

Mostly, we can't say anything, lest we be met with a barrage of abuse. 

Nobody wants to be a Karen, nobody wants to be filmed complaining, only to have that footage then spread all over the internet. 

So we keep quiet, dealing with someone's smelly feet on a plane, or putting our AirPods in to drown out the sound of someone listening to a video on full volume.

But this is your girlfriend. 

You do have the right to point out how unacceptable her behavior is. In fact, it's imperative. 

Tell her how you feel about what you saw on the plane, that her actions were intrusive, disrespectful, impolite and selfish. 

Nobody likes being criticized, and it's entirely possible that she will be defensive. It may well lead to an almighty argument. It may lead to her break up with you.

Given that this is a new relationship, you don't know how she will react, but the test of any relationship is how we react under stress or duress. 

Whatever the outcome of your relationship, being honest with her may make her thinking twice the next time she thinks about listening to music without headphones in public or puts her bare feet on someone else's armrest.

In fact, she may ultimately thank you. 

It may be that she is entirely unaware of the impact of her actions on other people, and may come to see that you have done her a favor. 

If the opposite is true, then it would seem that she is not the woman for you.