My girlfriends can't stop texting. No wonder they're so giddy... they've discovered Travis Kelce's secret! Taylor, you're a lucky girl: JANA HOCKING

Something positive is happening in the dating world right now, and as regular readers of this column know, it's been a long time since I've said anything like that. I'm not being blindly optimistic or the only one who has noticed it, either. My friends are seeing it, too.

After all the ghosting, breadcrumbing, playing games - oh, and years of horrid situationships - it would appear we've finally taken a radical turn away from toxicity and dating dysfunction.

With this new trend, we've come full circle: Everyone just wants to admit loudly and proudly that they're looking for love and date properly.

Yes, properly. None of this ridiculous 'play it cool and wait three to five business days before texting back' nonsense.

It's called 'chalance,' which is a made-up word, but when you learn it's supposedly the opposite of the more familiar nonchalance, the meaning is clear.

You're enthusiastically dating rather than trying to play it cool. If you've got a crush on someone, you tell them. If you want to text your crush to say, 'I'm thinking about you,' 'I had a great time last night,' or 'Would you like to go on a date with me?' you don't hesitate. You do it bravely without the ridiculous mind games that have plagued dating for far too long.

Praise the Lord, it's popular once again to actually say, 'You know what? I really want to find my person.'

And if chalance dating needed a poster boy, it would surely be Travis Kelce, who has mastered the art of wearing his heart on his sleeve.

This is a man who went to Taylor Swift's Eras Tour armed with a friendship bracelet bearing his phone number. When he couldn't get it to her, he went on his wildly popular podcast and told the world he was disappointed he hadn't been able to meet her.

There was no carefully constructed air of indifference. He had a crush on the most famous woman in the world and was perfectly happy for everyone to know it.

Taylor later said the whole thing began when Travis 'very adorably put me on blast on his podcast,' adding that she thought it was 'metal as hell.' Of course she did. There is something incredibly attractive about a man who risks looking keen and survives the experience. (See lads, it is possible.) 

I still don't understand why everyone thought it was cool to act all unbothered when it came to love and dating because I know for a fact that most of us were secretly spiraling behind the scenes.

Buzzwords aside, I'll happily take this lovely chalance dating over whatever ridiculousness we've been putting up with over the past few years. It's about time.

RIP situationships. You've done us dirty for far too long.

My favorite part of the chalance trend is what I'll call 'the follow-up.' Podcaster Ricky Liorti of the Canada-based The Pals Podcast recently shared a refreshing story about.

He did something surprisingly simple before a first date that left women swooning: Rather than sending a vague, 'We'll figure something out,' he created a calendar invite.

As he planned the evening, he kept updating it. First came the restaurant booking, then links to the restaurant's Instagram, followed by the cocktail bar they'd head to afterward. He even added a Pinterest mood board so she could get a feel for the vibe he was planning.

When she opened it, she couldn't believe the effort he'd gone to. 'This is insane,' she told him. 'This is the most thought a man has ever put into a date, and we're still two weeks out.'

Judging by the millions of people applauding the idea online, it struck a nerve. Clearly so many of us are so used to low-effort dating that simple consideration now feels almost revolutionary.

We've become so used to last-minute texts asking, 'Where do you want to go?' that seeing someone genuinely excited enough to plan ahead suddenly feels incredibly romantic.

This is probably why this whole chalance movement is resonating so much.

I wanted to know why we've suddenly come full circle, so I asked my clever friend Jana Firestone, therapist and host of Pop Therapy.

She explained: 'We've spent years treating dating like a strategy game - the three date rule, not replying too quickly, trying not to look too eager. All of that just creates anxiety and confusion.' 

Ain't that the truth.

'Chalance is a rejection of those old rules,' she explained. 'It recognizes that showing interest isn't a weakness; it's often the clearest sign of emotional maturity. The healthiest relationships are built on honesty, not mixed signals.'

Firestone believes Gen Z does this much better than we ever did because 'they're much better at saying what they mean.'

But age aside, 'being upfront and honest about our feelings creates a healthier foundation for relationships because clarity builds connection,' she added.

What's that? No guesswork? Sign me up!

My friends are clearly on board, too. I started asking if any of them had experienced chalance dating recently. I was inundated with stories. None of them involved extravagant gifts or sweeping declarations of love. They were all wonderfully ordinary.

A friend told me she'd been seeing a guy for a couple of weeks when he texted saying, 'I've got tickets to a comedy show next Thursday. I thought you'd love it.' None of the vague texts like, 'Are you free?' or 'What do you feel like doing?' He'd simply seen something that reminded him of her and organized it.

Another friend admitted she almost cried because a man texted after their date saying, 'Did you get home safely? Thank you for tonight. I'd really love to see you again.' She laughed, telling me, 'The bar is [so low it's] in hell,' but that text felt incredibly attractive.

One girlfriend said she'd mentioned in passing that she loved lemon tart. Their next date ended with him walking her to a little bakery he'd researched because he'd remembered.

An Instagram follower told me a man sent her a voice note instead of another dry text. He told her he'd been smiling all afternoon thinking about their date and couldn't wait to see her. She said it felt old-fashioned in the best possible way.

And my married friend told me her husband used to send her a photo whenever he spotted a dog that looked like hers. Tiny thing. Zero effort, really. But she said it made her feel like she popped into his head during the day, and that's surprisingly romantic.

So yes, extra points if you send us a full calendar invite complete with an itinerary and mood board, lads.

But seriously, even just remembering the little things and unashamedly saying, 'Hey, I like you,' feels like a pretty wonderful place for dating to be.

It's the kind of energy I'll be taking into the rest of 2026.

Vive la chalance dating!