By The Babylon Bee | Created at 2025-03-22 14:50:24 | Updated at 2025-03-23 14:19:32
23 hours ago
It's been over three hours, and my husband hasn't responded to a single one of the seven TikToks or twelve Instagram reels I sent him.
I can't help but think he's cheating on me.
All of the messages say "delivered", but none of them are even marked as "read." I mean, how else do you explain it other than him being with another woman?
I tried to not get anxious when an hour had passed without a response from my husband. "Perhaps he's busy seeing patients," I thought. Relaxed, chill woman that I am, I shook off the creeping thoughts of unfaithfulness and sent him a few more TikToks he would be sure to love. Nothing.
Panic began to set in as a second hour passed without a response. "Who is she?? What's her name?" I wondered. The tears began to come. We had such a beautiful, loving relationship. How did it all go wrong?
Now, here we are three hours in, and still not even a measly "thumbs up" in response to me continually putting my heart on the line. I'm having to face reality. I have lost his affection. What else could it be? I'm trying to be rational here, but all I can see is the last twelve years of wedded bliss, and all of the love we have shared, crashing down. When did the fire of our love get extinguished? I am shattered.
Wait... hold on a moment.
He just messaged back. He said that he couldn't respond because he was doing heart surgery and sometimes those take a while.
Tee-hee. Never mind!
The Founding Fathers didn't always agree behind closed doors.
