My husband's addiction is spiraling out of control... I find his fine white powder all over our house: DEAR JANE

Dear Jane,

My husband has an addiction that he refuses to address - and I can't handle it any longer.

Over the past few months, he has been on a 'health journey,' but what started as a genuine concern for his physical and mental health has quickly devolved into an obsession with tracking macronutrients, weighing food and exercising excessively.

He has completely stripped the fun out of life, refusing to even indulge in pasta or ice cream. That also means he declines social events with me. 

Worst of all, after falling down a rabbit hole on the internet, he's now fixated on his protein intake.

Every morning and afternoon, he mixes up a protein shake because he insists on getting the nutrients via protein powder. 

I mean, he's completely fixated on it - and it is bordering on unhealthy. It's all he talks about!

Not only do I have the incessant sound of his ridiculous shaker bottle and the whir of the blender stuck in my head, but the fine white powder is everywhere. 

It dusts the kitchen countertop; it sticks in the cup holders in our car; and has spilled in our cupboard on more than one occasion. 

Not to mention, his weights are strewn all over the garage and his sweaty athletic wear is piled in a never-ending mountain in our laundry hamper.

In short, this is taking over his life - our life - and I'm at my wit's end.

Sincerely,

Unhealthy Obsession

Dear Unhealthy Obsession,

I should not laugh about your absolute horror at the fine white powder everywhere - but most women know what it is like to be driven nuts by their partner's latest obsession.

Indeed, it is good news that your husband has embarked on a journey to better his health, its impact on your social life is less than ideal. 

And, when we are driven mad by our partner's behavior, we lose the ability to tell them how we feel without anger or blame, which leads to defensiveness.

But there are ways to talk to him about how this is impacting you.

I find the 'sandwich' method particularly useful: start with something positive, follow with what is bothering you, then finish with another positive.

You can tell him how happy you are that he is taking his health seriously, but that you are frustrated that you no longer do things together outside the house and that his health is all he wants to talk about.

Finish by telling him that you want to work together to not only support him, but make room for your relationship alongside his health goals.

Remember: compromise is required in every relationship. It may be that he is unwilling to go to a bar or lavish restaurant with you, but the two of you can come up with alternatives that work.

And, you can impose some rules. No more sweaty athletic wear piled in the hamper - he can do his own laundry... and clean up that protein powder.