By The Babylon Bee | Created at 2024-11-01 17:15:23 | Updated at 2024-11-01 19:33:49
2 hours ago
U.S. — With Americans participating in early voting in record numbers and millions more preparing to head to the polls on Tuesday, the nation anxiously waited to see which side would be denying election results.
Though the country remained deeply divided on a wide range of issues, Americans from across the political spectrum were eager to see which party would be left refusing to accept the outcome of the hotly contested presidential race.
"It's so suspenseful not to know which side will reject the new president," said Fox News political commentator Brit Hume. "It's the most exciting part of every presidential election now, waiting to see which side will say the election was rigged and stolen. Will it be Russia's fault? The Dominion voting machines? Republicans suppressing urban voters? Democrats illegally stuffing ballot drop boxes? We're all waiting with bated breath to find out next week."
In what has become one of the nation's most beloved traditions, families made plans to gather around the television on Tuesday night to learn which party would launch a crusade to accuse the other side of cheating. "It's part of the fabric of America," said voter David Megli. "I can't wait to wake up early Wednesday morning, run downstairs with my kids, and see what fresh political chaos was left for us overnight. It's as American as baseball, apple pie, and hating Canada."
At publishing time, crowds of election denial enthusiasts had already begun gathering outside the Supreme Court for the inevitable election challenges.
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