By New York Post (Opinion) | Created at 2026-08-03 23:59:43 | Updated at 2026-08-04 16:03:52
16 hours ago
Mayor Zohran Mamdani speaking at a ground breaking ceremony for affordable housing in The Bronx on Aug. 3, 2026.
Matthew McDermott for NY Post
We’re being Left behind
Definition of a communist: One who shares his nothing with everybody.
Having one another as staffers, commies don’t need enemies.
Newspaper Pravda ran a contest for the best political joke. First prize? Twenty years.
Our locals are moving. Every third human in the Hamptons is a Realtor.
Business in the city is now so bad that people who won’t even pay stopped buying.
Thanks to Zero Crapdammy our city — once almost 9 million — has nearly 8 million on the LIE.
In a synagogue now you keep eyes closed at your own risk.
Russia’s credit card slogan is sweet: “Don’t leave home.”
Locally everything’s downhill. If an employee asks the boss, “What goes?” He’ll say, “You!”
Seniors are rushing South. Florida is now populated by hungry young alligators driving old people’s cars and whatever/whoever/whichever new duties they might suddenly need to attend to like if whatever becomes necessary to suddenly attend to — like — late at night. Like late. Late. Suddenly.
The men? All bald. Palm Beach barbers envy clients with hair — to them dandruff is a thrill.
And new arrivals go where when they get there? To an art gallery where canvasses are in crayon. Or a late 4:30 dinner which is for ketchup on your sneakers.
Before Crapdammy, some friends had an all encompassing program designated to reach certain investment goals during the next five years — like getting even. Their company just closed. They’re now on the list for a Secaucus timeshare.
Neighborhood banks are failing. Forget a camera that photographs pictures of bank robbers. Mine now has a guy who does charcoal sketches.
One dude spent a year opening new bank accounts. Got free radios, toasters, TVs, luggage, pots, pans, dishes. Last week he gave back his deposit and opened his own discount house.
New York’s so ruined that one hustler asked a passerby for 20 bucks. Passerby: “20 dollars? That’s a lot to request.” Hustler: “Yeah, but I want to quit early tonight.”
Cheap? This mayor gets angry when gum machines won’t take credit cards.
Everyone’s trying to save money. The commie to his unfaithful wife: “Stand behind your lover. I’m going to shoot you both.”
Major commercial on Moscow TV: “You asked for it, you got it — hard labor.”
Note: Capitalism is when your wife owns everything. Crapdammy’s is when the State does.
Major game in Crapdammy’s favorite Siberia: “Hide and stay hidden.”
Set for doom boom
Listen up, world:
The city that never sleeps is sleeping. This BS crappy mayor talker is not! only into free buses, freezing rents, extra taxes and empty bodegas. NOT!!! Will our NYC smartguys — our brains, our Realtors, our business geniuses — not listen? His aim is to destroy New York. Kill it. Deaden it. Ruin it. Wipe it out. Close it. Shut it down. Stop it. Neutralize it.
Don’t just pay no attention. He hates success. Hates the rich. Hates Jewish people. His intent is to ruin New York.
A comedian friend of our mini-mayor insisted on getting married in a bathtub. Why? He wanted a double ring ceremony.
Only in New York, kids, only in New York.
