By The Babylon Bee | Created at 2025-01-07 21:25:35 | Updated at 2025-01-08 17:28:06
20 hours ago
PALM BEACH, FL — It was a joyous day at Mar-a-Lago today, as the entire staff of the famed resort property exploded into celebration and party preparation when an overjoyed President-elect Donald Trump ran out to greet his prodigal son, Mark Zuckerberg.
Sources said the Meta founder had run off years ago after asking Trump for his portion of the inheritance, used it to start Facebook, purchase Instagram and WhatsApp, interfere in U.S. elections, acquire a sprawling compound in Hawaii, and squander the rest on wild living. Today, he returned home, prepared to beg Trump's forgiveness but relieved to be welcomed with open arms.
"Mr. President-elect, I have sinned against MAGA and against you," Zuckerberg was heard saying after Trump ran to embrace him. "I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Treat me as one of your hired servants."
Before Zuckerberg had even finished speaking, witnesses said, Trump had called Mar-a-Lago staff. "Clothe Mark Zuckerberg in a MAGA baseball cap and gold Trump sneakers, provide him with a full set of Trump NFT trading cards, and prepare a vast McDonald's feast to celebrate," he said. "For this, my son was a lib, but is based again; he was lost, and is found."
One Mar-a-Lago insider revealed Elon Musk came out of the resort to see what the commotion was about and became angry upon learning that Trump had welcomed Zuckerberg back. "Look, during this election, I have served you," Musk complained, "yet you never gave me a few Big Macs to celebrate with Vivek. But when this Zuck came, you hold a feast."
At publishing time, Trump had allegedly told Musk that all that he had belonged to him, which would soon potentially include Greenland.
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