Pork Laden CR Fails [semi-satire]

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Posted on 12/27/2024 10:32:46 AM PST by John Semmens

The attempt to pass a monster Continuing Resolution under the guise of averting a government shutdown was narrowly averted this week. The 1,500 page piece of legislation was crammed with dubious increases in spending like pay raises for every member of Congress and over-priced federal construction projects. I guess raising each others' salary and building excessively expensive useless infrastructure are two key policy issues that are truly bipartisan.

CNN reporter Manu Raju, asked backer of the CR Sen. Dick Durbin (D-Ill) "do you guys deserve a pay raise?"

Durbin vigorously defended the salary increase, saying "consumers weren't the only ones hurt by rising inflation. We haven't got our automatic cost-of-living salary increase since 2009. Isn't it ludicrous that the folks voting on a nearly $7 trillion annual budget aren't paid more than $174,000 a year?"

Vivek Ramaswamy, co-director of President-Elect Donald Trump's new Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) read the 1,500 page bill, spoke with key leaders, and concluded "it's full of excessive spending, special interest giveaways and pork barrel politics. The bill adds 65 cents of new spending for every dollar of continued discretionary spending. It will add more debt than we can afford and lead to default."

Senate Appropriations Committee Chair Patty Murray (D-Wash) condemned "Ramaswamy's undermining of the carefully negotiated bipartisan bill. His attempt to raise opposition by citing an unmanageable debt load is reprehensible. Everyone in Congress knows this debt will never be paid back. The rich folks who buy government bonds will be stiffed, but the recipients of the added spending will reap benefits without having to bear the costs. I'm ready to work through the Christmas holidays to make sure the whole thing is enacted."

On Friday night, a shorter bill was passed by Congress. Much of the added spending proposed by the original CR was taken out. Funding at already existing levels was approved, as was $100 billion for disaster aid. The bit about giving members of Congress did not make the final cut. Neither did a clause allowing Congress to quash any subpoenas requiring the disclosure of House data that the House would rather be kept secret. The measure passed 366 to 34 with all the no votes coming from Republicans opposed to current levels of spending. The Senate also approved the revised measure 85-11.

In related news, DOGE's request for citizens to submit ideas for how to reduce government waste produced some interesting suggestions.

Auction off unused land, buildings, furniture, vehicles, and equipment to the highest bidders.

Shutdown federal agencies that cannot pass a simple audit of how they spend our money.

Retrieve the hundreds of billions of dollars fraudsters stole from welfare programs, COVID relief efforts, food stamps, Medicare and more.

Sell off unpaid federal loans to private bill collectors so they can recover some of the hundreds of billions of dollars lent by taxpayers to corporations and individuals that were never repaid.

Reward federal employees who identify waste and suggest innovative ways to save money. Give them a 15% finders'-fee bonus for every dollar saved.

Repeal President Biden's executive order placing diversity directors in every government agency. Their salaries and benefits run to millions of dollars annually.

Stop all federal loan and grant programs to universities that have endowments of more than $1 billion.

Institute a 10% spending cut across the board, including defense (but exempting Social Security payments). Follow it with a zero-based budgeting that requires justification for every expenditure.

Lay down the law to debt-laden states like New York and Illinois: Tell them no federal bailouts are coming.

Defund sanctuary cities and states that are violating federal immigration laws.

Move government agencies out of Washington, DC and its surrounding suburbs. Put them where their work is most relevant. Adjust pay scales to the lower cost of living in these locations.

Fire the 30,000 new IRS agents that were hired under Biden's misnamed Inflation Reduction Act.

Cut the Department of Education budget in half and send the remaining money to low-income parents in certified failing school districts to give their children alternative learning options.

Open non-environmentally sensitive federal lands to the mining of critical minerals, bringing in billions in royalties and lease payments.

If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...

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1 posted on 12/27/2024 10:32:46 AM PST by John Semmens

To: John Semmens

2 posted on 12/27/2024 10:34:37 AM PST by econjack

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