By Daily Mail (U.S.) | Created at 2024-09-26 15:52:27 | Updated at 2024-09-30 21:27:15
4 days ago
A psychologist has revealed the real reason why your crush may have started pulling away - and it has nothing to do with you.
Francesca Tighinean, who is originally from Romania but is now based in the US, studied psychology at City University in London.
She has since earned viral fame by sharing a slew of psychology tips with her 1.3 million followers on TikTok.
In her most recent video, she helped calm the minds of lovers around the world as she admitted that your latest infatuation isn't straying away because of you.
Instead, she offered up a different reason as to why your crush is acting differently - claiming that it is likely because they have an avoidant attachment style, which is described as a pattern to avoid closeness.
Psychologist Francesca Tighinean has revealed the real reason why your crush may have started pulling away - and it has nothing to do with you
All there is to know about attachment style
All human beings tend to mirror one of the four attachment styles: Secure, anxious, avoidant and disorganized.
Attachment styles are formed in childhood when a child is bonding with its parents – and how the parents behave towards their children tends to shape what their future attachment style will look like.
Approximately 25 per cent of people have an avoidant attachment style.
Avoidants are much more likely to avoid intimacy altogether and keep other people at a distance. They are wary of closeness and can feel trapped by romantic relationships.
According to The Attachment Project, someone with avoidant attachment style causes a low tolerance for emotional or physical intimacy and, sometimes, struggles with building long-lasting relationships.
'If you have noticed that the person you like has started to lose interest in you, especially if they were really into you at the beginning - texting you, making you a priority - and now they are not, it's not because you have done something wrong,' Francesca said at the beginning of the video.
The mental health pro revealed that the true reason someone could be pulling back when things get serious is because of their attachment style.
She added: 'It's probably because they have an avoidant attachment style, which means that if they feel like someone is getting too close emotionally, they will back off.
'They will put up a wall of distance between you two.'
The psychologist claimed those with avoidant attachment styles most likely had a 'toxic' childhood.
She explained: 'It happens to people who usually had toxic family lives, for instance they felt like one of their parents was in prison in the relationship or they are scared that someone may take their independence.'
The psychologist emphasized the fact that you shouldn't blame yourself for someone with an avoidant attachment style pulling away.
People on the web flooded the comments section and praised the psychologist for her advice
Francesca added: 'The solution is not to become more avoidant yourself, which is just an act anyways and is going to come out, it's to have a mature and honest conversation with them and tell them, "I feel like you are pulling away, is everything okay?"'
And while she said that sometimes relationships can work, your crush won't change over night.
'People take a lot of time to change and you will struggle with it and you will be unhappy for most of the relationship.
'It's important that you get your emotional needs met, which means that you need to go for someone who is more open and don't tell me that there aren't good men and women out there, there are plenty people ready to love, you are just attracted to emotionally unavailable people,' she said at the end of the clip.
People on the web flooded the comments section and praised the psychologist for her advice, as one person simply said: 'Toxicity.'
Someone else added: 'Best advice, thanks.'
Another user wrote: 'Girl got so real and I am all for it!'
'Thank you,' commented one user.
