Relationship expert reveals why having secrets in your romance is HEALTHY as new movie Black Bag sparks debate

Cate Blanchett and Michael Fassbender play a dedicated married couple in their new film Black Bag - but the thriller could also have some solid relationship advice.

The film centers around Kathryn (Blanchett) who is suspected of betraying the nation, forcing her husband and intelligence agent George Woodhouse (Fassbender) into choosing his marriage or his country. 

In the film, a 'black bag' is code for secrecy; and when the spies need to keep something hidden they cite the 'black bag'. 

The concept of a 'black bag' is having parts of your relationship that you can - or should - keep from your partner - and an expert says it doesn't make your connection any less significant. 

According to Jaime Bronstein, licensed relationship therapist and author of MAN*ifesting, although honesty and being communicative are vital parts to a relationship - not everything needs to be shared with your significant other.

'While open communication and honesty are key in a healthy relationship, that doesn't mean you must disclose every thought, past experience, or minor detail of your day,' she told the DailyMail.com.

The exert added that being selective with what you share doesn't make you dishonest, it just means you have a 'healthy sense of individuality in your marriage.'

'The key is making sure that what you choose not to share isn't something that could hurt your spouse or breach the trust in the relationship,' Bronstein said.

Bronstein went on to explain what kind of things it's okay not to share with your significant other - insisting that not sharing everything from your past with your partner is acceptable. 

'Some things from your past may not be relevant to your present relationship and could cause unnecessary hurt,' she pointed out.

She also weighed in on what you can or can't share with your partner from someone else.

'If a family member or friend shares something with you in confidence, you don't need to tell your significant other unless it directly affects them,' the expert declared.

However, she said there are things that you should absolutely share with your partner.

'[You should share] anything that affects the relationship,' she shared. 'Finances, big decisions, and major life choices should be openly discussed.'

Obviously, if not sharing something is going to cause harm to the relationship, then Bronstein says to tell them.

'If withholding information would feel like a betrayal, then it's better to share,' she said. 'Some examples are hiding money, lying about something significant.'

The expert went on to say that obviously, it's always important to talk through issues with your partner if it's bothering either one of you. 

'If you're feeling disconnected, unhappy in the relationship, or unfulfilled, [discuss] it before it becomes a bigger issue is better,' she added.

In 2024, TikTok user Jeff Guenther, from Portland, Oregon, went viral after sharing how to make your partner happier.

The love expert took to the video-sharing platform to lift the lid on the things you could change to make your partner feel more loved - including putting them above your phone.

He captioned the clip: 'Four simple shifts for a happier, healthier relationship. '

'Number one, don't expect you in your partner,' he said at the beginning of the clip, noting that you should always remember that you and your partner handle things differently and shouldn't assume you will both handle situations the same way.

Number two was if your partner asks you for more 'love' or affirmation, you should give them even more than what they asked.

'Number three, never stop flirting and wooing them. Keep up the spontaneous gestures of affection, the playful banter and the compliments,' he said.

Lastly, the therapist noted that you should always put your partner above your love for your technology.

'Number four, always put your phone before your sweetie. Make sure they never feel like they're competing with your screen,' he said.