Retired from the disco floor

It is the early 1990s in Glasgow, and Stephen has recently been discharged from a psychiatric ward. He is youngish and has ME (myalgic encephalomyelitis, or chronic fatigue syndrome), but the doctors “weren’t interested in it”, so they treated him as if he were depressed. Back home, Stephen’s life has become small. He used to be “the number one seer of bands in the greater Glasgow district”, but his energy levels are now too low. He lives with an old friend, Richard, who also has ME, in a flat where their primary objective is to keep themselves warm while keeping the bills down. He visits his friend Carrie – another sufferer – to drink tea on the front steps of her family home and discuss their symptoms and experiences of ME. He develops an idiosyncratic relationship with God, tries different holistic health treatments and, as a gesture towards activism, establishes a support group for other young ME sufferers in Glasgow. “All life was now ambience. We noticed everything. Because we had slowed and stopped, we had more in common with the peonies than the postman.”

Nobody’s Empire is a semi-autobiographical novel by the lead singer of Belle and Sebastian, Stuart Murdoch. The spirit of the real band – with their vivid, detailed observations of everyday life and gentle, but also gently mocking, outlook – seems to burn through the book, which is named after one of their songs. Stephen is delightful company, with his earnest, conversational, complicit first-person voice: “I’m so tired today, I feel battered. If I don’t come across as coherent, you know why”. He confides in us about his low energy levels and frustration at the relentless pace of the rest of the world, along with his optimism and determination, and his many crushes on girls.

Some of the strongest observations are to be found in Stephen’s subtle commentary on existing on the margins of society, as he and Richard fret constantly about their disability income vouchers. Following a particularly alarming health crash for Stephen, the two of them muster sufficient energy and money to seek out some sun for their cold bones, setting off for the West Coast of the United States (knowing that they must return within twelve weeks to qualify for long-term disability income). As in Glasgow, Stephen moves slowly and mindfully through San Diego. One of his great pleasures is his bus pass.

He tries – and largely fails – to start a band, both in Glasgow and San Diego. The Nabisco Cats consists of Richard on guitar and Stephen on an electric keyboard from Toys “R” Us, joined by the student Samir on bass and Janey (on whom Stephen has a crush) playing drums. They perform just once, unsuccessfully, for Samir’s “art in the community” class. But Stephen remains committed to music; he finds a talent for songwriting (“It’s a thing. I can do a thing … In the absence of anything else, maybe I can do this”) and teaches himself the guitar. Fans will recognize some of his titles and lyrics.

I would list the songs’ titles on the inside cover of my notebook. I would list them before they were finished … You see? That’s an LP ready to be made. It has structure, a backbone, some meaning. The notes are just waiting to be played by some future people in some future time.

Lily Herd is an assistant editor at the TLS

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