By Free Republic | Created at 2025-01-04 10:12:23 | Updated at 2025-01-06 10:47:04
2 days ago
Two years ago my 9 year old daughter caught me moving the “Elf on the Shelf” around. So I told her the truth that it has been me. But I asked her would you rather not known the truth and continue to have daddy move the elf? She was thoughtful.
Now 2 years later we spent Christmas out of the country and it was too difficult to set up presents for the favorite daughter. So I told Santa could not find us and we’d have to work it out after Christmas. Now it is after Christmas and she’s asking. I told her that Santa called daddy an asshole for not keeping him informed, and Santa told daddy to fix it.
We both know I’m lying. But would it have been fun to continue the Elf on the Shelf? Sometimes ignorance is bliss is a better option. So now at 11 she wants daddy to work with Santa to fix getting her stuff on her Christmas list, and we’re both happy with that decision.
Reminds me of the mistress joke:
A husband and wife are having dinner at a very fine restaurant when an absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open-mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away. The wife glares at her husband and says, "Who in the hell was that?"
"Oh," replies the husband, "She's my mistress."
"Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough. I want a divorce!"
"I can understand that," replies her husband, "But remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Jaguar in the garage, and no more yacht club. Not only that, but no more diamonds, no more credit card, and large bank account."
"But, he said, "The decision is all yours."
Just then, a mutual friend of theirs enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm.
"Who's that woman with Bobby?" asks the wife.
"That's his mistress," says the husband.
"Ours is prettier," she replies !
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