By Rebel News | Created at 2024-11-24 23:21:04 | Updated at 2024-11-26 00:52:23
1 day ago
Not surprisingly, many Taylor Swift fans were very disappointed with the result of the U.S. election, and several pronounced that Donald Trump supporters are equal parts uneducated, racist, and sexist.
The City of Toronto remains gripped in the spell of TaylorSwiftMania.
It began last Friday when the Gardiner Expressway was closed to mere mortals so that the Taylor Swift motorcade could be given a police escort as it made a beeline to SkyDome. It was the sort of sight one sees when an important head of state visits Hogtown. But then again, Her Royal Highness Taylor Swift is indeed the Khaleesi of Swiftie Nation. And even though Ms. Swift sports a net worth of US$1.6 billion according to Forbes magazine, this display of pomp and circumstance was paid for by the ever-beleagured taxpayer. But never mind…
We dropped by SkyDome to do some gal-on-the-street interviews (and yes, the demographic was overwhelmingly female.)
It was a surreal sight. Thousands of young girls were donning tarted-up attire and copious quantities of makeup. Alas, the end-result was less haute couture and more Halloween-ish.
On the flipside, cougars well past their best-before date were donning haberdashery that last saw the light of day in the ’90s. The result was equally garish.
Anyway, although the rank-and-file attendees did not come across as typical NFL fans, those who were not clad in miniskirts were donning Kansas City Chiefs jerseys. And most of those crimson-coloured jerseys bore the number 87. Gee, we wonder why? (Speaking of football, many Swifties pointed out that the Chiefs lost their first game of the season last Sundy to the Buffalo Bills because – shockers! – Taylor Swift was not in attendance at Highmark Stadium that day. Such is the supernatural power of this singing sensation! But then again, who are we to blame Taylor Swift for not visiting a down-market municipality best known for chicken wings, five-alarm fires, and sports teams that are notorious for snatching defeat from the jaws of victory?)
We popped by SkyDome a few hours before showtime to ask the Swifites to weigh in on politics. Specifically, we wanted to get their thoughts as to why the vast majority of Americans did NOT take Taylor’s advice to vote for Kamala Harris earlier this month. Not surprisingly, many were very disappointed with the result of the U.S. election, and several pronounced that Donald Trump supporters are equal parts uneducated, racist, and sexist. Alas and alack, hell hath no fury than a Swiftie scorned…
We also asked about Taylor Swift teaming up with Toronto Public Health. This dynamic duo took to X just before showtime to urge Torontonians to get their COVID-19 shots and boosters. Naturally, many fans said they would indeed adhere to the advice of Dr. Swift. Clearly, this is no mere fanbase, but rather, a cult that would put the denizens of Jonestown to shame...
Another question for the Swifties: who’s better – Taylor Swift or The Beatles? Spoiler alert: it was Ms. Swift in a landslide.
God help us all…
David Menzies
Mission Specialist
David “The Menzoid” Menzies is the Rebel News "Mission Specialist." The Menzoid is equal parts outrageous and irreverent as he dares to ask the type of questions those in the Media Party would rather not ponder.
