By The Babylon Bee | Created at 2024-12-29 20:45:18 | Updated at 2025-01-01 18:57:51
2 days ago
The American conservative movement, usually known for being well organized and having zero infighting, has somehow descended into civil war over something called H-1B visas. Here is what you need to know about the controversy ripping everyone apart:
What is an H-1B visa?
Not to be confused with H1N1 swine flu, an H-1B visa allows people from India to come to America to build rockets and compete in spelling bees.
Can people who are not from India receive a visa?
The H-1B Visa is not exclusive to residents of India. Central and South America residents are also eligible, as long as they can show proof that they are Indian.
How does an immigrant receive an H-1B visa?
The U.S. embassy in New Delhi hosts spelling bees and math competitions throughout the year. The spelling bee winner and the champion "mathlete" each receive an H-1B visa.
Why does Elon Musk want more H-1B visas to be awarded?
Musk needs more highly skilled engineers to build rockets, and he wants to make sure the people he hires won't steal his steak.
Why are people opposed to having more H-1B visas?
Americans are concerned that it's already hard enough for a white kid to win a spelling bee without importing a bunch more people from India. Additionally, there is concern that people from India are pretty smart and may take away some good jobs from Americans.
What sort of jobs could Americans lose out on?
The H-1B Visa is narrowly tailored to bring in only the top 0.01 percent of India's engineers, doctors, and minimart clerks.
Can't Americans just beat out the Indians here on an H-1B visa to get the job?
Have you tried beating an Indian kid at a spelling bee?
Should I be worried about losing my job?
No, they will need you for at least 6 months to help train Krishna.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
