The unmistakable sign that your husband cheated... all my divorced friends know what I'm talking about: JANA HOCKING

I am of that age where I've now held the hand of more friends through soul-destroying divorces than I'd care to count. It's not for the faint-hearted.

After years of watching it play out, I've realized that divorce has its own strange little rituals.

It's almost like there's an unspoken handbook every woman gets handed the moment the relationship implodes.

First come the 'protect your peace' memes. Every second Instagram Story is a quote about healing, boundaries or cutting out toxic people. She thinks she's being cryptic. The rest of us are texting each other, 'Oof... looks like Sarah's heading for a divorce.'

Before long, she's quoting Mel Robbins and muttering, 'Let them,' every time her ex does something spectacularly disappointing.

Then, couples' photos quietly disappear from Instagram, usually accompanied by a bottle of pinot and a very understanding group chat.

Next up? The glow-up. Reformer Pilates. Botox she'd sworn she'd never get. A solo trip to Italy to eat, pray, love. Suddenly, she's training for a half marathon despite previously considering walking to the corner shop a strenuous workout. All perfectly standard.

But over the years, I've noticed there's one post-divorce move that almost always makes me raise an eyebrow. Not every divorced woman does it. But the ones whose husbands cheated? Time and time again, they seem to arrive at exactly the same conclusion.

They book a boob job.

Lily Allen springs to mind. Following the breakdown of her marriage to David Harbour, she proudly debuted what she jokingly called her 'new additions to the family.' Sure, it's cosmetic surgery, but it also felt symbolic.

And if we're being completely honest… There's another reason.

A fabulous new set of boobs is one giant, silicone middle finger to the man who made you question your worth.

Before anyone comes for me, I'm not saying every woman who gets breast implants has been cheated on. Plenty have wanted them for years and finally decide to take the plunge after a marriage ends.

But I have noticed that women who leave because they've simply fallen out of love might book a trip. Women who leave because they've been humiliated… well, they tend to book a surgeon.

And I'm sorry to say lads, but it works.

I know of an ex-husband who was, to put it mildly, a complete scumbag during his marriage. His long-suffering wife eventually reached her breaking point after one too many 'hey girlie' messages landed in her inbox.

If you're unfamiliar with this sort of message, congratulations! You're probably not being cheated on. A 'hey girlie' text is a message every woman dreads. It's another woman reaching out to let you know your partner has been unfaithful - or at the very least is behaving like he forgot you existed.

My friend handled her divorce spectacularly. She quietly gathered evidence - always gather evidence, ladies - divorced him, walked away with a very respectable settlement and promptly spent a healthy slice of it on a personal trainer and a spectacular new pair of boobs.

I saw him last week and for a solid 20 minutes, he complained about how incredible she looks now. He whined about why she hadn't done that when they were married and how messed up it was that another man would get to enjoy what he'd paid for.

I wanted to stand up and applaud her – and the surgeon who gifted her revenge in D-cup form.

I imagine plastic surgeons secretly adore divorce season. Divorce lawyers might get the house, but the surgeons get the settlement. And I say, good for them!

Now, I have no doubt that any man reading this assumes a woman's post-divorce glow-up is designed purely to lure in her next boyfriend or help her on some wild sexual rampage.

And you would be mistaken, dear precious, naive gents.

I genuinely believe she is attempting to resurrect the woman who existed before someone spent years making her feel like she wasn't quite enough - and nothing hits your self-worth quite like cheating trauma. 

She wants to feel like the woman who had swagger. Who felt sexy. Who doesn't look in the mirror and see someone's exhausted wife staring back at her.

Women have understood this for years because we were raised on the sacred divorce texts: How Stella Got Her Groove Back and The First Wives Club. God bless those movies.

But I can't shake the feeling there's often something a little more deliciously petty at play.

Because if another woman has helped herself to your husband, surely a tiny part of you wants her to choke on the fact that she inherited the budget version while you've gone and become the deluxe model.

Listen, it won't win any awards for emotional maturity. But heartbreak has never exactly been known for producing saints.

Then again, maybe social media has made all of us a little more performative? (Guilty as charged, your honor.) Twenty years ago, your ex never saw your post-divorce renaissance. You could quietly reinvent yourself without him having a front-row seat.

Now every Pilates class, every syringe of filler and every suspiciously flattering bikini photo arrives in his hand before he's even finished his morning coffee.

We all know someone who has mysteriously discovered her love of posting swimwear selfies the very week her ex starts lurking in her Instagram Stories again. Coincidence? I think not.

So, if a fabulous new pair of boobies is what helps a woman walk back into the world standing a little taller after somebody tried to convince her she wasn't enough, then I say book the consultation.

Just don't pretend you're only doing it because your old bras don't fit anymore. We've all seen The First Wives Club. We know what's really going on.

Wear those new tatas loud and proud, ladies.