By The Babylon Bee | Created at 2025-03-04 16:45:25 | Updated at 2025-03-04 20:58:29
4 hours ago
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In yet another embarrassing scolding from U.S. leadership to Ukraine, President Donald Trump ordered President Volodymyr Zelenskyy to be sent to bed without his supper to think about what he's done.
The disgraced Ukrainian president, who had been publicly reprimanded by Trump and Vice President JD Vance in an appearance before the media in the Oval Office last week, was now faced with the new punishment of going to bed hungry with the knowledge that he may have some of his privileges taken away.
"Straight to your room, young man," Trump said. "And you can forget about having dinner tonight. That's out of the question. Temper tantrums are not acceptable, and you need to learn a lesson about how important it is to behave. We were going to have a wonderful dinner, too. Bacon cheeseburgers. They don't have those in Ukraine, I don't think. You were in for a treat, but we don't give cheeseburgers to boys who throw fits. And no ice cream. Definitely no ice cream. Sad."
When questioned if there may be an opportunity for Zelenskyy to redeem himself in the eyes of the U.S., Trump was vague. "We'll see," he said. "He's got to learn to be a big boy and stop acting up. I should make it a point to note that I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed."
At publishing time, reports circulated that any further misbehavior would result in Zelenskyy having his Xbox taken away for two weeks and not being allowed to go to Lindsey Graham's pizza party.
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